Tag: tsa

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Genius Air Traveler Hid Marijuana In 'Mary Jane' Candy Wrappers, Because Of Course

June 23, 2015 at 4:15 PM | by | Comments (0)

Forty-nine year old Gregory Murphy of Toms River, New Jersey was just chilling in Newark International last Friday, hanging around Gate 85 and waiting to board a 5:00pm flight. Then someone called out his name over the loudspeaker, and that someone soon turned out to be a member of the local Port Authority police. The police wanted to know whether the pot that airport security had found in his checked luggage was indeed his.

The answer to that question was yes, and so Mr. Murphy is going to be involved in several legal proceedings in the near future. It won't be that bad - he didn't have more than 50 grams on him - but he'll have spend some time in a court room. Normally a drugs-at-the-airport story would end here.

What makes this story particularly entertaining is that he had wrapped the drug in candy wrappers labeled "Mary Jane." Come on. That's not even trying.

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Great News: TSA Failed to Flag Dozens of Terror-Linked Airline Employees

June 15, 2015 at 9:05 AM | by | Comments (0)

The TSA fun began last Monday and lasted through the whole week. Fun might be the wrong word — it was a second consecutive week of PR nightmares after last week's debacle - but at least we got through five whole days without a top organization official having to resign or being fired. Baby steps.

It started with the appearance of travel politics stories based on a recent inspector general report showing that TSA had failed to identify 73 airport workers — that's 7 times 10 plus 3 airline workers — who should have been flagged as terror concerns. The agency neglected to do background checks on a bunch of people who had access to secure airport areas, so airline employees and airport vendors who have actual real life connections to terrorism slipped through the cracks. TSA thought the airports were going to do those checks successfully, but the airports didn't at all, and so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

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From Snow Globes to Machetes: Seriously, Stop Trying To Sneak These Past TSA

June 11, 2015 at 2:05 PM | by | Comments (0)

If the TSA’s Instagram feed is any reminder, people—whether stupid or forgetful—are trying to sneak some ridiculous items past security: like guns, knives, knife-combs, knife-belts, and pretty much anything else knife-related. And these people are being caught again and again. But there are also ridiculous items TSA disallows for one reason or the other, like snow globes, inflatable products and, hell, even your cricket bat. Though it was recently discovered that TSA has a 96% failure rate, we decided to document some contraband people should remember not to sneak past security.

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Spectacular Failure: TSA Agents Miss 95% of Fake Explosives, People Finally Getting Fired

June 4, 2015 at 2:28 PM | by | Comments (0)

The short version of this story - and if you follow travel politics at all you've already heard about it - is that the acting administrator for TSA has been reassigned after ABC News revealed that TSA screeners flunked 67 out of 70 trial runs where investigators tried to smuggle fake explosives through airport security. That's about a 5% success rate. The investigation more broadly concluded that TSA had made zero significant improvements since a 2009 review, which had itself pointed out enormous flaws.

To give you a sense of what the public reaction has been like, CNN published an article by a pilot yesterday asking "Is TSA security a complete failure?" and it was probably one of the kindest things written about the fiasco. The responses write themselves: if TSA agents are not making us any safer, why have we spent the last 14 years going through nonsense lines, pat-downs, scans, secondary scans, explosives sniffers, backroom questioning, etc. etc?

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TSA Has Been Losing Hundreds of Security Access Badges All Over The Country

May 29, 2015 at 9:05 AM | by | Comments (0)

There are small TSA screw-ups, like screwing up a PreCheck procedure. There are big TSA screw-ups, like publishing classified info in the dumbest way imaginable. And then there are the screw-ups that make you sit up, kind of tilt your head sideways, and ask yourself how anybody could be so bad at their jobs.

A TV station in Texas did some digging about possible security vulnerabilities at DFW and found what might be generously described as a total clusterfuck: "lost and stolen airline uniform shirts, an entire FedEx pilot's uniform, missing TSA badges and even a federal flight deck officer's credentials and badge, which allow a pilot to carry a gun on a plane." And that was just one airport. The station uncovered similar problems, specifically having to do with lost badges, across the country.

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Someone Got Tased At LAX Yesterday And Mini-Me Filmed It, So Of Course It's All Over The Internet

May 21, 2015 at 9:05 AM | by | Comments (0)

Some guy walked away from TSA at LAX yesterday, and when police confronted him, he... kept going. Lots of shouting ensued, and eventually the man was tased. Normally this would be your standard airport security story: how the hell did a guy get deep inside the terminal before security brought him down, why is TSA so bad at everything, and so on.

Except because the incident happened in 2015 in a public place, and because everything and everyone is horrible, the whole thing was documented on social media. And because it happened in LAX, celebrities were involved.

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TSA Hasn't Quite Figured Out If Its Machines Are Actually Working

May 14, 2015 at 4:00 PM | by | Comments (0)

TSA has contracts totalling $1.2 billion with four different companies to maintain its machines. Last year it spent about $251 million making sure its super-irritating scanners and its somewhat-less-irritating bomb detectors were at least working. Maintenance seems like a reasonable thing to do, and is the minimum you'd expect in exchange for the hassle that U.S. travelers go through.

Except a new report from the Office of Inspector General has revealed that, oh by the way, officials from TSA have no idea if any of the maintanance work is keeping the machines working. Take the next step, and the logical conclusion is that officials from the travel security agency don't know if the machines themselves are working properly. Because why would they?

Why are they so bad at everything?

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Follow the TSA Before the Start of Summer Travels

April 24, 2015 at 3:53 PM | by | Comments (0)

This is a public service announcement: the Transportation Safety Administration (TSA) is hip to social media.

Perhaps you already follow their stellar Instagram account? That's @TSA, naturally, with 263,000 followers enjoying near-daily images of confiscated weapons that'd be more at home in Game of Thrones than in a carry-on bag.

But do you follow their tweets? The game is different on "the twitter" for the TSA, which utilizes the social network to relay important changes in policies, notifications and reminders of rules around heavy holiday travel periods, and other fun facts (depending on your definition of fun).

The news this week may be trivial—the administration's original "@TSABlogTeam" is shutting down to consolidate into the sleeker "@TSA" handle—but it's as good a time as any to remind that the account is worth a follow...if only to read their tweeted regulations on having fruit pies in your carry-ons during Thanksgiving season.

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TSA Fired Two Groping Screeners, But Won't Tell You Who Or What Or Why Or How

April 24, 2015 at 10:20 AM | by | Comments (0)

The TSA groping scandal seems like it's been going on for a year, but people are still talking about it so it's worth putting on your radar.

The Economist - an outlet that has spent roughly 150 years developing its dry, understated tone - lit up the airport security agency earlier this week, calling it out for "repeated sexual assaults." This is of course in the wake of two TSA agents, a guy and a girl, getting fired for being part of a "pat downs for pleasure" conspiracy.

The scheme was actually kind of clever, albeit staggeringly illegal and guaranteed to detonate whatever trust the public still had in TSA. When the guy saw another guy he wanted to grope heading through a scanner, he would send a signal to his accomplice. The accomplice would then tell the scanner that it was scanning a female. The scanner would look for female body parts and - there's no gentle way to write this - detect a bulge around the groin area that wasn't supposed to be there. It would return an alarm, the traveler would get pulled aside for secondary screening, and then the groping would happen.

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After the NOLA Machete Attack, How Do You Feel About Arming TSA Agents?

March 26, 2015 at 1:20 PM | by | Comment (1)

Last Friday a lunatic - we think it's fair to call him a lunatic - walked into Louis Armstrong International in New Orleans and began trying to hack up the place with a machete.

He used anti-wasp spray to keep security officers at bay, and it would later be discovered that the bag he was carrying was filled with Molotov cocktails. The attacker managed to badly injure a TSA worker before finally being brought down by a sheriff who was in the area.

And therein lies the debate that started on Monday: what would have happened had the armed officer not been there? TSA personnel are trained to handle rampages, and this article describes some of the tactics they used (one guy blocked the machete with a piece of luggage while travelers fled the area). But the only thing that stops an attack like this in its tracks is a well-aimed shot, and TSA agents aren't armed.

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Another Example of How TSA is Ruining The PreCheck System for Everyone

March 23, 2015 at 3:35 PM | by | Comment (1)

Either the TSA is actively trolling the American people, or these guys actually are so incompetent they could screw up a one car parade.

You guys obviously know about PreCheck and PreCheck lines, and you've probably heard about how some airports send passengers randomly into the PreCheck line to speed things up. The idea is that if you randomly send every 10th or every 20th passenger through expedited screening, what are the odds that the person you randomly selected is actually a terrorist? Want to guess how this turns out?

A new report, published last week by Homeland Security, revealed that the system sent a notorious felon and terrorist through a PreCheck line. This guy was so famous that he was recognized by sight by the officers in the PreCheck line. They alerted their supervisor, who of course ordered the officer to let the terrorist continue on his way. Stellar work from start to finish from America's exquisitely staffed airport security agency.

The TSA's response, by the by, is that it "takes its responsibility for protecting the traveling public very seriously." Feel better?

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TGIF So We Can Talk About Another Crazy TSA Incident

February 6, 2015 at 4:41 PM | by | Comments (0)

You guys don't like to hear this, but most of your complaints about TSA are kind of bullsh*t. Sometimes the stories are true but silly: it took an extra 5 minutes to get through line, the TSA agent didn't smile enough, etc.

Other times the tales come from conspiracy theorists who are looking for a way to finally prove that airport security is part of a secret plot to domesticate the American sheeple in preparation for a takeover by black United Nations helicopters. Those descriptions all but universally turn out to be questionable.

Then there's the story that's currently making the rounds, which has now reached legitimate news outlets like the Associated Press. Roger Vanderklok is a runner in his late 50s who was going through security at PHL two years ago on his way to a Miami half-marathon.

Naturally he was carrying energy bars and a sports watch, which he had wrapped in a PVC pipe so they wouldn't get crushed. Something happened at the checkpoint, he didn't like it, he asked to file a complaint, and he ended up arrested and in a holding cell for around 20 hours without being allowed to contact the outside world (including his wife, who couldn't find him).

A judge eventually dismissed the case, and of course there's a lawsuit in play now. That's not the interesting part.

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