Jaunted

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Spirit Airlines to Start Selling Cans of Wine (Yes, You Read That Right)

Once upon a time we wrote that Spirit Airlines seemed set on becoming "the Ryanair of the United States." Then a month later—in the context of raising fees and amid moves to create non-reclining seats—they declared that they were really proud of being the Ryanair of the United States. True story.

Fast forward to last weekend, when the Daily Mail published a synopsis of fees charged by the airline. They found 70 of them, which the airline imposed in 2011 to the sum of $76 million in profits. Spirit charges for carry-ons. It charges for printing boarding passes at the terminal.

It even charges a $2 fee each way because the Department of Transportation passed some rules that the airline didn't like. Really. The fee is called the "Unintended Consequences of DOT Regulations Fee." It exists. Douchebags.

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The Onion Takes a (Hilarious) Cheap Shot at Spirit

In case you are just tuning into the internet for the first time, let us remind you that The Onion is a satirical news organization dedicated to all things hilarious. In their latest fact finding mission, they’re filling in the public on a recent "FAA report" about Spirit Airlines, and let’s just say they’re less than impressed.

Through plenty of expletives and anecdotes we learn that traveling with Spirit Airlines might not be worth it—even despite those low, low fees. Charges for this and charges for that are unwelcome, and the nickel-and-diming quickly ruins any deal that you thought you were getting.

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JetBlue, Virgin America and Air France Lead This Week's New Route News

Sometimes it’s hard to stay on top of all the new route announcements that come our way, so we’ve complied a little bit of a rundown below. As long as you can afford the fares, this should definitely help add to your passport stamp collection.

· JetBlue:
The government seals and stamps are still pending, but if all goes according to plan JetBlue will be adding some new options sooner than later. They’re looking to head from Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport down to Jorge Chávez International Airport in Lima, Peru. Daily flights are scheduled to start on November 21, and if you act quickly you might be able to score a one-way seat for as low as $139. Adding Lima to their map will be destination number 81 for JetBlue, and it’s their fourth destination down in South America.

· LOT:
In case you haven’t heard the good news it’s finally time for the Boeing 787 Dreamliner to head back into the skies. The battery problems have been reviewed and approved, and it’s finally time for the planes to do what they do best—fly. Plenty of airlines are working to shift their schedules to bring back the new planes, and one of them is LOT Polish Airlines. It sounds like June 5 is when they’ll bring back the 787 service between Chicago and Warsaw, and shortly after that they’ll start to link Poland with Toronto as well.

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Hainan, Brussels Airlines and Frontier Lead This Week's New Route News

Sometimes it’s hard to stay on top of all the new route announcements that come our way, so we’ve complied a little bit of a rundown below. As long as you can afford the fares, this should definitely help add to your passport stamp collection.

· Brussels Airlines:
If you’re still thinking about heading across the pond this summer it might be time to finally make a decision, as Brussels Airlines just announced that they’re starting up some brand new nonstop flights between Washington Dulles International Airport and Brussels Airport.

The flights are set to start up for the first time on June 18, so this is pretty much perfect for your summer holiday over in Europe. Airbus A330s will be doing the heavy lifting across the Atlantic, as the flights are scheduled to head back and forth five times per week. There’s solid in-flight entertainment across both cabins, and if you upgrade to business class you’ll even score yourself a fully flat bed—as your seat. Finally, the carrier is part of the Star Alliance, so feel free to cash in some of those United MileagePlus frequent flyer miles.

· Spirit Airlines:
They must be doing something correctly over at Spirit Airlines, as it seems like they’re always stealing a spot in our new route roundup. This week they’re at it again, as they’re looking to connect Las Vegas with Baltimore.

The new flights are set to take to the skies as soon as April 25, and the plan is to fly them back and forth each and every day of the week. Flights head out of Baltimore around 7:30pm and are scheduled to arrive over in Las Vegas at around 9:30pm—all times local. Heading out of Sin City en route to Charm City it’s going to be a redeye flight leaving at just before midnight and arriving back on the east coast at 7:20am.

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Copa, Spirit Airlines and Frontier are Ready for Plenty of New Routes

Sometimes it’s hard to stay on top of all the new route announcements that come our way, so we’ve complied a little bit of a rundown below. As long as you can afford the fares, this should definitely help add to your passport stamp collection.

· Copa Airlines:
For those who call Boston home—or can get to the airport easily—there’s some big new route news this week thanks our buddies over at Copa Airlines. They’re getting ready to fill up the tanks on one of the area’s first nonstop flights into Latin America, as the plan is to connect Boston with Panama City—that’s Tocumen International Airport to be specific. It sounds like July 10 will be the first day that things start heading back and forth, as Boeing 737s will do their best to zip through the air during the five and a half hour flight. With connections available in Panama to pretty much anywhere in the region, this is some good new route news.

· easyJet:
If you’re thinking about flying into Russia, it’s unlikely that the first carrier that comes to mind is easyJet. However, you better readjust your expectations, as they’re the latest carrier planning to head to and from Moscow-Domodedovo. The low cost carrier is doing their thing between London-Gatwick and Moscow beginning on March 18, and the tickets recently went up for sale. Starting off the flights will be a daily option, but after a month or so things will be bumped up to a couple times per day. We checked out prices through their site, and we saw some one-ways for as little as $86—nice.

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New Spirit Airlines Fees Kick In Just in Time for Holiday Travel

You know, there's probably a clever way to open this post, like maybe with a reference to Christmas and the Grinch or whatever. But honestly, when it comes to Spirit Airlines, we just can't bring ourselves to give a fuck any more.

The Ryanair of North America wants to raise fees on holiday trips weeks before Thanksgiving because they know they can exploit flustered travelers? Fair enough. The airline's overarching strategy has been so successful that it's managed to recently expand into DEN and MSP? Terrific. These are the same people who make high school playground masturbation jokes about Presidential candidates? We're very happy for them. Go with God.

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Spirit Airlines is Kinda Torn Over Their Own New $100 Fee

We've been trying to figure out the best way to cover this news, about how Spirit Airlines is going to start charging passengers $100 each when they pay for check-in luggage at the gate. Originally we were just going to post the word "douchebags" as a link to the story, because brevity is the soul of wit and because it's fucking true.

But then we would have missed the chance to talk about the gratingly obnoxious press release that the airline issued to announce the new fee. Want to guess what they titled it?

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New Routes Arriving This Week from United, Frontier, Emirates and More

Sometimes it’s hard to stay on top of all the new route announcements that come our way, so we’ve complied a little bit of a rundown below. As long as you can afford the fares, this should definitely help add to your passport stamp collection.

· Spirit Airlines:
Just the other day—as in yesterday—Spirit Airlines was celebrating yet another new route, as they continue to build quite the following in and out of Dallas-Ft. Worth. This week they’re flying a short distance from DFW right over to Houston’s Bush Intercontinental Airport. The plan is to head back and forth a couple times per day. We guess the response for these flights has been strong, as the airline is already looking to expand to and from Houston as well. Starting on October 4 they’ll be linking the city to both Chicago and Las Vegas. Again, when it comes to Spirit just watch those fees—flyer beware.

· United:
Obviously we’d prefer to talk about United’s plans to span the globe with a new long-haul route, but we’ve got enough new route love to go around—even for a few regional flights. The new flights will do their thing out of the airline’s hub over in Cleveland, as the plan is to link the city with both Nashville and Oklahoma City. All the flying fun will take place thanks to a little help from some 50-seaters operated by the folks over at ExpressJet. Nashville’s daily flights start up on December 19, but you’ll have to wait until Valentine’s Day of 2013 in order to take advantage of the new daily flights over to OKC.

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WestJet, Delta and United Pile on the New Routes This Week

Sometimes it’s hard to stay on top of all the new route announcements that come our way, so we’ve complied a little bit of a rundown below. As long as you can afford the fares, this should definitely help add to your passport stamp collection.

· WestJet:
It’s already time to start thinking about the cooler months up north, because it’s important to know where you’re headed when the weather turns sour. That’s why WestJet is already thinking about where cool Canadians will want to visit this winter, as they’re preparing to add a few new flights.

If all the government stamps and seals are obtained it sounds like they’ll be heading to Antigua, Curacao and Liberia, Costa Rica this winter. All the flights will do their thing to and from Toronto Pearson International Airport. The flights won’t be a daily option, but there will be at least one flight per week to get you to the warmer waters of the Caribbean when you’ll need it most.

· United:
Last week we mentioned all kinds of new options heading in and out of Chicago, but this week we’re sharing the details about the new United flights doing their thing from Denver. No big wide body jets serving exciting international options, but we can’t complain.

Shreveport, Louisiana will get some new nonstop flights starting on August 28, and Grand Forks, North Dakota will also become an option beginning on October 3. The always comfortable 50-seat regional jet will be doing the heavy lifting between these new city pairs, so ensure you thoroughly stretch your legs before boarding.

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Confirmed: New Spirit Airlines Fees are Deeply Hateable

Airline industry watchers awoke Thursday to a Fox News story about the latest Spirit Airlines clusterfark, wherein the airline is refusing to refund the $197 ticket of a dying Vietnam vet who was banned by his doctor from flying. The mess involves typically grating behavior from the deeply obnoxious airline, so that's not what was notable about the writeup.

Instead what got people's attention was that Kate Hanni, executive director of Flyers Rights, has apparently chosen to inject herself into the controversy and to start throwing around language about "meat in a seat" and "history of cruelty." This is... disconcerting.

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Spirit Airlines Posts, Then Pulls, Colombia Sex Scandal Ad Campaign

Spirit Airlines has declared itself proud to be the Ryanair of North America, and you have to admit that the airline works hard to protect its title. Airline industry scientists have spent years trying to untangle what it means to follow in the footsteps of the notoriously grating Irish LCC, and they've discovered at least 5 criteria: (1) obnoxious fees (2) pride in those obnoxious fees (3) arm-waving "look at me" advertising (4) a general air of petulance whenever something doesn't go the airline's way, and (5) unblinking, reflexive, utterly unapologetic disrespect for customers.

Spirit recently doubled down on their customer-screwing fees, announcing that they consider it a badge of honor to be the "poster child" for airline fees and adding that their customers like the fees too. That takes care of criteria 1, 2, and 5. The petulance stuff is covered by the temper tantrum they threw about new fee transparency rules they didn't like, which leaves only the advertising thing. All of which brings us to Spirit's most recent travel advertising campaign.

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Spirit Airlines Has Gone 'Linsane' for Jeremy Lin

Just because Spirit Airlines has been stopped by the US government from touting "$9 fares" (you see, they really weren't $9), doesn't mean they'll quit it with the horrible wordplay for easy ads.

The latest victim of Spirit's marketing department is NY Knicks' new star player, Jeremy Lin. Via an email blast and a flash ad on their website, Spirit is exploiting the "Linsanity" to hock "Linsanely" low airfares. There's no mention of actual price numbers of course, but rest assured the fees for carry-ons and everything else under the sun—kinda like their new "Unintended Consequences Fee"—will still be there in the final ticket price, a 3-pointer from Lin or not.