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TGIF and thank god for another entertaining travel rant, this time courtesy of our long-time ranter, er, contributor, Omri. #Fistpump
A few years ago, we described our feelings about what was then a growing movement to ban e-cigarettes on planes. My feeling? A ban would be silly and pointless and completely unenforceable.
Don't get mewrong, it's not that I think e-cigs are 100% safe. There are some metals in the vapor, as a result of heat applied to the device itself, that aren't great for you.
But when you consider what's already in the air you breathe on airplanes, to say nothing of what's literally crawling around on the seats and tray tables, I just can't bring myself to care all that much.
We realize that America long ago gave up on "live and let live," but really? Banning e-cigs on airplanes? Have we solved literally every other problem, everywhere in the world?
Maybe you guys were feeling good about the new FAA numbers on unruly passengers, which show that less of you were assholes in 2014 than any time since at least 1995. (Conrad Hilton obviously is not included in this stat.)
If the figures are to be believed, there were "only" 121 times when passengers tried to "assault, threaten, intimidate, or interfere with a crewmember in the performance of the crewmember's duties aboard an aircraft being operated."
Except those numbers are bunk. As the New York Times explained earlier this week, the entire reporting system seems designed to prevent the FAA from getting a complete list of how many passengers get out of hand.
Just for starters, the reports have to come from flight attendants, whose job it is... to prevent passengers from getting out of hand. Asking them to file a report about an incident is asking them to file a report about how they failed to do their jobs. That doesn't seem very smart, and so the NYT is probably right in reminding readers that you guys are still assholes.
It's that time of the year again, the time when the year just plain ends. Alas, we can't just let 2014 go that easily, especially since travelers spent it both up in the air and up in arms over a crazy range of topics. Now we take a brief look back at the best and worst of 2014 with the Jaunted Travel Awards,or as we fondly refer to themThe Jauntys.
“Sexy” Halloween costumes aside (groan), here are some flight attendants who actually made tongues wag in 2014.
Lap dancers, pinup models, drug mules — oh my!
Dani Grant, founder of Hackers NY, published a short, to-the-point Medium post this morning, alerting the public to a serious issue in the security of mobile boarding passes. And you don't need to be a hacker to understand it:
On Delta, you can change the URL of your boarding pass and get someone else’s boarding pass. Even if they’re on a different airline. You can check in as them and change their seat.
It's apparently time for the annual deluge of articles explaining why you should kill yourself instead of traveling through an airport this Thanksgiving. We faithfully catalog these things every year in our Thanksgiving travel category, alongside holiday travel ideas for people who will not be passing through airports (and thus are not better off lighting themselves on fire). Let's get started, shall we?
Published a few hours ago by the Associated Press: "Get Ready for Crowded Airports This Thanksgiving." The article runs down numbers from a just-published study by the trade group Airlines for America.
24.6 million people are going to try to make their way through airports in the week and a half around Thanksgiving. That's one and a half percent more than last year. Analysts predict that 2.6 million of those people will try to board U.S. airlines just on the Sunday immediately after Thanksgiving.
Vienna. Just think of the city for a second and launch into daydreams of sumptuous cakes devoured in plush cafes, and evenings spent at the theater or opera, hobnobbing with the literati.
While Vienna indeed offers all that and more, there's just one big problem: for about two weeks Vienna is kind of a dud.
Learn from our mistakes, and avoid the first two weeks of November, any/every year. Here's why:
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"It's too bright! Close the window, please." - your annoying seatmate
Despite recent reports that "windowless planes" are the wave of the future, air travelers have a love-hate relationship with airplane windows and turning the whole fuselage into a portal to view the sky around you just will not fly (pardon the pun).
You can thank British firm CPI (Centre for Progress Innovation) for the concept and, while it's a fun daydream, there is no way a plane with screens in place of windows will be happening in our lifetime. Here's why:
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It's been nearly three weeks since fledgling airline PEOPLExpress announced they'd be putting a temporary stop to both flights and new bookings, and there's still no solid news on when the budget carrier will again take to the skies. There is, however, some odd activity on Facebook.
A notice on the flypex.com website appeared on September 26, explaining the shutdown as a result of "recent aircraft and crew availability and maintenance issues." The initial promise was to resume flights "on or about Oct. 16" and celebrate inaugural service from their base at Newport News/Williamsburg, VA to Orlando and Charleston, WV on the same day. Of course, as the calendar today flips to October 20 and PEOPLExpress remains grounded, that goal won't be met.
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By now you've likely already heard about the idiot who, while onboard a US Airways flight to Punta Cana, Dominican Republic, sneezed and claimed that he possibly had Ebola since he'd recently been in Africa. Of course his remark was a joke, but it was treated quite seriously by other passengers and the flight crew, and medical officers in containment suits removed him from the plane after arrival for evaluation.
Of course his flippant attitude about the very serious issue of Ebola crossing borders via air travel is wrong, and of course his actions were beyond foolish, but the incident has some positive aspects as well.
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Last Wednesday TSA agents at Burbank detected a loaded gun in the carry-on of rapper Todd Anthony Shaw, known as Too Short or Too $hort depending on how stuffy you are. This kind of thing happens quite a lot. Almost always, the travelers are immediately cited, and often they're even allowed to proceed to the plane.
In this case Mr. Short walked slowly out of the airport in his socks, recovered his valet-parked car, and returned two days later with his lawyer. At that point he received a misdemeanor citation for possession of a loaded handgun in a public place. This entire incident, with all due respect, is batshit crazy.
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The worst thing to be, at least according to the Internet, is a "Basic Bitch."
Know Your Meme explains the term as used to describe an "individual who displays cliche, conformist or otherwise predictable character traits," and the hustle of the airport and tight confines of airplanes are the perfect breeding grounds for such behavior.
So, how Basic are you when it comes to travel? Find out with our very scientific list:
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The struggle is real.
Flying in Economy Class isn't the steak dinner and ample legroom experience it once was, and travelers have adapted to the lessening space and tightened liberties remarkably well; that is, until you view the Passenger Shaming Facebook page (and it's not just limited to Economy).
Started by a flight attendant in early 2013, the page has amassed over 200,000 "likes" of the submitted photos of passengers behaving badly. It's spread to Instagram and Twitter, not to mention spawned a small line of T-shirts.
Although it began with the aim of allowing cabin crew to vent frustration with ill-mannered and unhygienic flyers, it now welcomes image submissions from anyone and anywhere. Some have even spotted themselves among the shamed; as you can imagine, they're not flattered by the attention.
In order to stay out of the Hall of Passenger Shame, follow these few simple rules of in-flight etiquette: