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That's the Thrust of It

Welly welly well, the U.S. team may have some `splainin' to do after their 3-0 defeat against Czech Republic yesterday. Page Six reported over the weekend that Landon Donovan and a few other players were spotted in Hamburg's St. Pauli District (read: where the hookers are) a week ago. Don't they remember how Ronaldo stayed celibate during the Brazilian team's last run at the World Cup?

Still, this could be the explanation--or excuse--American fans have been looking for since yesterday's defeat. No wonder the team was crushed. It's not that the best U.S. athletes play other sports, ones where they can make a lot of money in the U.S. Not at all; the reason that the team lost is that they were all suffering from a vague burning sensation in their nether regions. Surely that will please the U.S. fans that spent their vacation time supporting the team at this year's World Cup. Next time, Team U.S.A. needs to bring their own hookers.

[Image via bambi bar/Flickr]

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