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"I Guess This Is What We Deserve for Being Little Crybabies"

Where: Costa Rica
June 9, 2009 at 10:11 AM | by BS | 0 Comments

Well we're in to week two of the Speidi quit-a-thon, and Spencer and Heidi have said goodbye to "I'm a Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here" for the third, and apparently final time. Last night we got an inside peak at the couples' alleged torture session in the Costa Rican jungle; they spent a night in the spider-infested "lost chamber" as punishment for their first attempt to quit the show, but Heidi couldn't take it and had to be flown to San Jose to seek medical treatment.

Although don't let it be said their trip was all for naught—Spencer admitted Costa Rica was worth the trek because he did get baptized in the river by Stephen Baldwin—they did get the exposure they wanted. Spencer even admitted, "I guess this is what we deserve for being little crybabies." And for the first time, America agreed with Spencer Pratt.

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Costa Rican Jungle To Speidi: Please Get Out Of Here

June 8, 2009 at 9:38 AM | by cmb | 0 Comments

Reportedly, Heidi Pratt spent the weekend in a Costa Rican hospital after being “tortured” on the set of "I’m A Celebrity…Get Me Out Of Here". According to TMZ, she was "convulsively throwing up" after she and new husband Spencer Pratt were held in a dark room for a day and a night with only water, rice and beans. Cast members told TMZ, “It was designed as punishment because they left the show.”

Now, sources from the show and its production company are coming forward saying the allegations that "The Hills" stars were tortured are absolutely not true.

A source told MSN:

They were not kept in a torture chamber. They quit the show on June 1st; they stayed in a hotel for all of three days until they begged to be allowed back. On June 4th they entered the Lost Chamber at approximately 4:30 p.m. local time, and stayed until 6:30 a.m. the next day. That’s 14 hours. Not days, like is being alleged.

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"I Wanna Go Back to the Hills"

Where: Costa Rica
June 2, 2009 at 9:02 AM | by BS | 0 Comments

The D-Listers (and let's be honest, a few sub-D-listers) parachuted into the Costa Rican Jungle last night for the debut episode of "I'm Spencer Pratt, Make Me Stop Talking." Errr, "I'm a Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here."

While we're in it mostly for the glamour shots of volcanoes and iguanas, we have to admit it's hard not to enjoy watching Patti Blagojevich getting whisked away by a rapid river and Janice Dickinson doused with unidentified "jungle slime." But a few distractions aside, the first episode was, unsurprisingly, all about our old friends Heidi and Spencer.

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Travel Advisory: D-List Celebs to Descend on Costa Rica Next Week

Where: Costa Rica
May 29, 2009 at 10:12 AM | by BS | 0 Comments

Sick and tired of recessionomics and staycations, America is in dire need of distraction by a good D-Listy celebrity travel show, and boy is NBC coming through for us.

Starting next week, the new season of I'm a Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here will air live from the Costa Rican jungle, with viewers getting to choose which harrowing challenges to dump on what looks like the most villainous reality show cast yet.

Heidi and Spencer from The Hills will be conniving against American Idol's Sanjaya, Stephen Baldwin, Lou Diamond Phillips, wrestler Torrie Wilson, retired basketball star John Salley and Janice "I'll go on any reality show" Dickinson. The last addition to the cast is Patti Blagojevich, the former first lady of Illinois, who filled in for her disgraced husband Rod when a judge ruled he couldn’t leave the country, even for as important a matter as this.

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Heidi And Spencer, Actually Married This Time

April 27, 2009 at 9:32 AM | by egw | 0 Comments

We know you were just hanging onto your monitors all weekend to find out: After three years, 800 fights and two near-misses, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt actually tied the knot this weekend in a Pasadena church, and they made sure everyone was watching.

The bride wore Monique Lhuillier and Neil Lane jewels and walked down the aisle behind her sister Holly, a featured character on "The Hills" who once tried to make Heidi choose between her and Spencer. Both sets of parents were also in attendance and US that Lauren Conrad herself showed, although surely MTV is keeping that detail under its veil before the wedding's inevitable airing on "The Hills"' fifth season. Other visitors from the Hillsiverse: Brody and girlfriend Jayde, Frankie, Audrina, Lo and straight from "Laguna Beach," Kristin Cavallari.

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Heidi And Spencer To Wed This Weekend in Pasadena

Where: 1757 N Lake Ave. [map], Pasadena, CA, United States
April 22, 2009 at 9:00 AM | by egw | 0 Comments

Break out the extra-special flashbulbs: The celebrity couple we love to hate is tying the knot -- again. They went through with it in Mexico then chickened out in Beverly Hills on the finale of last season's "Hills,", but Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag must be serious about their relationship now, because they've accidentally-on-purpose leaked the church where the wedding they've been held to all and sundry. Guess that couples' counseling made them develop faster than a one-hour photo machine.

It's amazing that the two have enough time to plan a wedding, leak Heidi's latest single to the Internets, shoot annoying photos and cast a crop of girls for their new reality series. Currently called "American Girls," the show announced its ungodly presence in the form of flyers last week on the USC campus. We can only assume it's a "Tough Love"-style self-improvement show, because who doesn't want to take advice from these two goons?

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I Don't Want That... Feeling

December 23, 2008 at 8:45 AM | by egw | 0 Comments

Previously: Whitney moved to New York City for her own show, er, for her Australian man and new job; Heidi and Spencer got pre-divorced. This season, "I almost lost one friend over a boy and one friend over a rumor..." Oh, remember Duh Doug? Those were the days.

It's the season finale, so for once we're doing this in order instead of creatively rearranging it. (What? It's Christmas!) Heidi's at work preparing for the SLS Hotel opening where she manages to casually drop in that, while her coworker was on vacation in Kona, she was on vacation in Mexico... and got hitched. Brent Bolthouse's expression is priceless.

LC and Lo are going to the SLS Hotel opening party too, even though they're apprehensive about running into Heidi. But that totally won't happen, right? Hmm...

Meanwhile, JustinBobby is taking Audrina to a swank hotel, where they are drinking. Oh noes! Another wedding?! (Spot the major continuity error where the happy couple is whizzing down the street and JustinBobby's muscle shirt magically appears as soon as they step into the hotel.)

Heidi's mom magically stops by the apartment to hear if, you know, she and Spencer have anything going on. About anything. Naturally, she tries to put on a brave face for Heidi but she's really upset that she doesn't get to be a part of her daughter's wedding. We have to say--Momzilla? Yoo hoo? But Spencer actually looks like he's listening a little bit, so maybe the crying works on him.

As seen in last week's preview, JustinBobby gives Audrina a ring... a piece of metal that looks like a very cheap key ring, which he puts on her finger right after taking it out of his mouth. Romantic! It's not a proposal, though, as much as the screaming banshees of "The Hills Aftershow" at Tavern on the Green would have it so. (And seriously, girls: What? We're still bitter because our invites were lost in the mail, but really, you're encouraging this unholy union?)

Finally, at the party, Heidi and Lauren talk face to face for the first time in what feels like forever. Wow, it's as awkward as if they broke up! Heidi even asks Lauren if she's working out. They don't close the door to getting back together, but they don't seem to have anything in common now.

And speaking of Heidi, despite her mom forbidding them to make it legal, Spence and Heidz are off to the courthouse with Stephanie in tow as the witness. Only--and this was the one surprise of the hour--they don't actually get married. At the last second, Spencer dramatically pulls back and he declares that he wants to do the wedding right and make peace with her family. So if two morons say wedding vows to each other in a foreign country, do we care any more?

Related Stories:
· Last Week: I'll Show You What A Wife Does [Jaunted]
· Heidi and Spencer's Wedding: What Kind of Fakery Is This? [Jaunted]
· Celeb Travel coverage [Jaunted]

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Heidi and Spencer's Wedding: What Kind Of Fakery Is This?

December 18, 2008 at 9:15 AM | by egw | 1 Comment

This week's "Hills" had us all watching Spencer and Heidi's drunken beachside ceremony on Spence's video camera. While it seems pretty clear that one cannot just decide on a whim to wed in a foreign country requiring birth certificates and blood tests, clips from next week's episode show the terrible two making it legal. Or are they?

No less august a source than the Associated Press is on the case, discovering that MTV shot in a Beverly Hills courtroom after hours--but a judge was not present. They haven't filed in LA County either, although that's less telling since they could get married anywhere in the state. Maybe there ought to be a punishment for going through with a fake wedding on reality TV... say, for instance, being stuck married to the guy for life, Heidi. Some Patron with that?

Related Stories:
· Heidi and Spencer Get Married in Mexico [Jaunted]
· This Week's Hills: "I'll Show You What A Wife Does" [Jaunted]
· Montag, Pratt Nuptials Questioned [AP]
· Celeb Travel coverage [Jaunted]

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I'll Show You What A Wife Does

December 16, 2008 at 8:45 AM | by egw | 0 Comments

Previously: Whitney interviewed for a job as an "image coordinator" at DVF in New York, but it was so not for the boy. Right. Heidi's boss and sister both told her Spencer was no good, but she didn't listen. "And now he was about to convince her to do something that couldn't be undone." Uh, they don't have divorces in Hillsland?

Spencer surprises Heidi by taking her to Mexico (HotelChatter has the details) with the warning words, "I have a feeling this will be the most memorable vacation of your life." Run! Run away from the boy who believes your relationship is the best when you're creepily alone!

Well, she doesn't run, you know that. Instead she serves Spencer champagne on the terrace in a bikini. Champagne that magically took all her stress away!

Later, they're at dinner -- and Heidi's drinking again! After joking that she won't even remember the conversation because she's so blasted, Spencer says the fateful words, "What if we went off and got married and didn't tell anyone? Whatever substances she may have ingested, Heidi recognizes this idea is "loco en la cabeza," but Spencer declares this is "the only way it's going to work." His response is to order more booze, "even more top shelf than Patron." They should be showing this video as a cautionary tale.

Spencer presses: "It's a secret Mexico wedding. It's for us." He uses that old cliched chick line that he doesn't want to be in a relationship that's "not going anywhere." Then he gives one of his now famous monologues, or it would be if it didn't make Shakespeare cry to say it:

Heidi Montag, when I'm with you you make me want to be nicer. And that's why I'm madly obsessed with you -- that's pretty apparent from the fact that I haven't left your side in nearly two and a half years. I pretty much keep you from the whole world. You're just my angel. Let's just do it, we'll tell nobody, it'll just be by us, for us, about us.

This convinces Heidi, who kisses him with such fervor he says, "Whoa! Save some for the honeymoon!" And before you can say, "But... the tabloids!" they're married. We don't see any of the wedding, just smug Spencer in bed and Heidi complaining about how hung over she is. Then -- and this is really ridiculous -- we watch the wedding video over Spencer's shoulder on his minicam:

MTV, aren't you paying these people to produce good footage? So where is it? And even in the video, Heidi is still drinking. SIGH. But with the hangover setting in, she frets about how she's going to tell her mom. Well, you should have thought of that before, right?

Oh wait, that's weird... Heidi's wearing her supposed wedding ring on the wrong hand. We've been hungover before, but that's a hell of a mistake! Flipped footage, or proof that (as all the other tabloids besides US say) this wedding is a fake fakery?

Meanwhile, at People's Revolution, Whitney finds out she got the job, and as Lauren says, "Dude. Diane von Furstenberg." "We get it, you're not going there for the job. But there is an amazing boy... whom you should date."

At Whitney's going away party, there are balloons, friends... and Whitney's parents.

"You'll come back and see us? Yo yo?" Her mom cries a little, but she's proud.

Audrina tells Lauren and Lo that Stephanie came over earlier asking if she knew where Heidi was because they disappeared. Unfortunately, she doesn't repeat JustinBobby's punch line, which was, "We should put up some signs."

Favorite party moment? When Lauren tells her parents "Whitney's been my advice giver for many years." Oh yeah, like, have you seen our show "The Hills"? That's why she's leaving, because that's all she did!! Ahem.

Instead of advice, Lauren and Whitney spend their going-away lunch reminiscing about their first day at Teen Vogue when Lisa Love made them change. "I came into it as a job, but I wasn't expecting to get a friend." Aw, kids! You'll meet again -- like whenever MTV decides to get you together to do promos. Besides, Whitney has some things about New York to figure out, like, "when I go to the grocery store, do I take a cab there?" Do we have time for a quick airport photo shoot?

'90s-looking minidress: Do not want! Manageable load of luggage: Do want.

Next week, on the season finale: Heidi's mom comes to visit and is, predictably, upset. JustinBobby proposes to Audrina?!?! Spencer takes Heidi to the courthouse, hopefully without the help of Patron. And... holy smokes... Lauren and Heidi meet again, face to face. "I know how to be her best friend and I know how to hate her," says Lauren, "but I don't know how to do anything in between." That's how we feel about this show.

Related Stories:
· Last Week: Kinda Like Growing Up [Jaunted]
· Heidi and Spencer Get Married In Mexico [Jaunted]
· Celeb Travel coverage [Jaunted]

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Kinda Like Growing Up

December 9, 2008 at 8:45 AM | by egw | 1 Comment

Previously: Lauren and Audrina made up, improbably; Stephanie felt slighted by Spencer, probably.

Tonight was another one of those irritating "Time to set up all the good stuff!" episodes with which "The Hills" seems plagued of late. So we'll cut to the chase: Next week on "The Hills," Spencer and Heidi get hitched (as you've all no doubt seen) and Whitney moves to New York City for her new job (as you've all no doubt heard).

That said, here's what happened in our favorite non-neighborhood this week: Thanks to the watchful eye of Kelly Cutrone, Whitney flew to New York City to interview at Diane von Furstenberg. Even though she was only staying in New York for the day, she managed to catch up with her Australian crush Jay, who seemed strangely giddy to see her. How do we know he's her crush?

Very, very subtle.

This is supposed to be the A-plot but there's not much suspense to it. Besides, no real boss finds job interviews for her underlings, with all deference to Grande Dame Cutrone. Even in fake reality TV, we have rules.

Meanwhile, on the West Coast: Lauren's parents are leaving Laguna Beach, so she and Lo (Lo!!!) drive up for the day to pack up LC's adolescent bedroom, including such gems as her old will ("P.S., I would like to be buried in my homecoming dress with my crown on my coffin") and Baby's First Cell Phone:

Tee hee. It's all sad and such, but LC resolves to make LA more like home from now on, despite leaving behind the most Normalsville parents ever:

You have to wonder what they think of this MTV foofaraw, don't you?

Also, Stephanie was back on, then back off again with Cameron, the guy from earlier in the season who didn't defend her ardently enough. ZZZ. Onto the tears and creepy Heidi responding to "Mrs. Pratt."

Related Stories:
· Last Week's Hills: "Disgusting And Embarrassing" [Jaunted]
· Two Weeks Ago: What Is There To Talk About? [Jaunted]
· Celeb Travel coverage [Jaunted]

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Brody Jenner's Reality Show Lives

Where: Los Angeles, CA
December 5, 2008 at 8:50 AM | by egw | 2 Comments

We didn't mean to make it "Hills" week on Jaunted, but the awesomeness keeps showing up unbidden. The latest news: A Christmas miracle--Brody Jenner's long-awaited reality show "Bromance," which we just wished for this week, will premiere December 29 alongside "The City."

The setup: Ever since Brody fell out with Spencer, there's been an opening in his "family" of bros. So now 9 guys will compete to see who has the best bromance with him and subsequently join his entourage. It's just like "Paris Hilton's My New BFF," except none of the contestants are nicknamed "Bikini Corrie." From the trailer, it looks like they'll be judged on their answers to an LC-given questionnaire, their tolerance for creepy animals in the middle of the night and their Slip'n'Slide prowess. And of course, there is crying.

Notably absent from "Bromance" is Duh Doug, Lauren's flame from earlier this season who also went out on a date with Stephanie. But lately he's been seen out with Amanda Bynes (formerly of Nickelodeon, also "Hairspray"). Do we need her to inject some D-list wattage into "The Hills"? Maybe so!

Related Stories:
· This Week's Hills: "Disgusting and Embarrassing" [Jaunted]
· Bromance Premieres December 29 [Brody Jenner's Blog]
· Amanda Bynes On The Hills Girls' Baseball Cast-Off [Socialite Life]
· Celeb Travel coverage [Jaunted]

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"Disgusting And Embarrassing"

December 2, 2008 at 8:45 AM | by egw | 0 Comments

Previously: Spencer turned his back on his flesh and blood like a cold blooded gangsta. And for once, we agreed with JustinBobby when he called the rumor about him hooking up with LC "fictitious."

So Audrina is still upset that Lauren is upset... because she accused her of being a woman of loose morals. (That's right, it's Jane Austen week on "The Hills"!) And JustinBobby is still upset that Audrina believed "Dino," the rumormonger who should get some screen-time stat because she no longer believes him. But who will plant those seeds of precious doubt!?

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