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Witches Benefit from EU Accession

Who would've thought that joining the European Union would be such a boon for Romanian witches? Earlier we were worried that they'd all be losing money as they splashed out on English lessons, trying to prepare for what they thought would be a huge wave of English-speaking clients. While we're not sure if Tony Blair or Angela Merkel are rushing to Romania for some witchly assistance, it is apparently true that Romanian businesspeople are frantically making appointments.

Witchcraft is recognized as a "real profession" in Romania, and the local witches say that in response to EU entry,

They have adjusted their services as entrepreneurs turn to potions and spells to get the money they want.

These services include, just to name a couple, splashing application forms for EU funding with special potions and helping gay men (now protected under EU law) get more feminine features. As one witch said:

You cannot pretend you are a real witch if you cannot help a businessman get the European Union funds he wants.

Of course not.

[Photo: programwitch]

Related Stories:
· EU Helps Witches Branch Out [Ananova]
· Which Witch Speaks Good English? [Jaunted]

Tags: Sports / Romanian Culture / Romania / → All Tags

Romanian Football Is the Gas!

We really want to congratulate Romania on January 1 when it enters the European Union, but there's just too much weird news coming outta there to concentrate on the serious stuff. This time we've learnt of a soccer team which is bartering a player for a gas pipeline.

The way we know it, when you want to exchange your football/baseball/basketball players, you agree on a price, and do it. Not so in Romania.

The boss of a second division soccer team in western Romania, who also happens to be the local mayor, has offered his star goalkeeper to a first division team on the condition that the rich owner pays for a gas pipeline to his town. Of course, we can think of other ways a football team could provide a lotta gas for a town, but Romanians are obviously too polite to think of this.

[Photo: Tsjeu]

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· Football Club Seeks to Trade Goalkeeper [ShortNews]
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Tags: Romanian Culture / Romania / Weird / → All Tags

Today in Romania: Careful With that Toothbrush

If everything that we hear happens in Romania really is true, it must surely be the most exciting country on the planet. We've already told you about mayors who promote open-air sex, nude models who demand better pages in the newspaper and farmers who feed their cows dope. With all this action, who wouldn't want to hop a plane to Bucharest right this minute?

But wait, there's more. This week alone, news reports told us about a Romanian girl in the town of Falticeni who swallowed a toothbrush while imitating what the reporter explained as "extreme moves" from an adult movie; another mentioned an 80-year-old hospital patient in Botosani who had to use his mobile phone to call the emergency service line from his hospital bed to get attention from doctors. Where does all this Romanian news come from, and why don't these crazy things happen in neighboring Bulgaria or even in our own backyards? Clearly because Romania is the most totally hip place to travel that we haven't quite discovered yet. Get going.

[Photo: andrea z]

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· Teen Swallows Rude Toothbrush [Metro UK]
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Tags: Romanian Culture / Romania / Magazines / Culture / → All Tags

Romania's Page 5 Girls

There are so many interesting things to see in Romania that we're sure the next Jaunted field trip will just have to go to Dracula's land. To add to the country's natural scenic attractions, Transylvania, the Black Sea coast and an interesting history, there are also the sexy nurses and the marijuana-eating cows. But wait, as they say...there's more.

There are also great-looking Page 5 girls. In fact, the Page 5 girls in Romanian tabloid Libertatea are some of the prettiest around. But they're not happy. The reason is probably obvious already: they want to be Page 3 girls. And they're protesting and threatening to withdraw their services if their section isn't relocated two pages closer to the front. One clever model stated: "It's a lot easier to open the paper to Page 3 then to Page 5." Romania: history, sex, mountains, drugs, and intelligent models. Let's go!

[Photo: jessica louise]

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Tags: Romania / Fashions / Romanian Culture / → All Tags

Sexy Romanian Nurses

There's a rumour going around that news stories out of Romania are often not true. We find this hard to believe: between the marijuana-eating cattle and the mayor who encourages outdoor sex, it sounds like an open-minded and relaxed country that we'd really like to spend more time in.

But sometimes things go to far. This week, news sources reported that a movement by doctors in Iasi, eastern Romania insists that all female nurses and doctors wear miniskirts. The reasoning: "It would be more elegant." Just what every healthcare system needs, a bit more elegance. If you wind up sick or injured in Romania, check out the dress standard and let us know if they're elegant or simply distracting.

[Photo: bunmun]

Related stories
· Nurses in Romania to Wear Miniskirts [Ananova]
· Marijuana: The New Bovine Growth Hormone [Jaunted]
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