Previously: The gang all got back together to save Serena, but they couldn't keep her boyfriend Dan from straying... to Georgina. Also, Serena left some guy to die but it's all OK now! And Lily and Rufus were drawn back together again, on the eve of her wedding to Chuck's father Bart Bass.
Wedding today! Wedding today! And the bride wakes up... in Rufus' arms? Oops. Lily runs after Bart, who compares her love for Rufus to a building he bought a long time ago but thinks he should sell off. Subtle!
But despite an eleventh-hour appeal by Rufus, Lily marries Bart and the Van der Bartsen monolith is created at the Cooper-Hewitt Museum, on (naturally) the Upper East Side. Rufus goes on tour for the summer, not bothering to hide his broken heart at all. (By the way, the CW's promos for the new "90210" feature an English teacher who could be Matthew Settle'stwin. Do we have room for two guilty pleasures next fall?)
While the wedding goes off without a hitch, another couple is not so lucky. Serena goes to Brooklyn to apologize to Dan, only to find Georgina there--and still denying everything the other Upper East Siders are saying about her. Blair uses Dan as bait to trap Georgina in the park and informs Papa and Mama Sparks of her presence in New York. It's off to reform school for her! (Apparently G. once went to the same rehab as Lindsay Lohan...)
Previously: Georgina was evil, Georgina was evil, Georgina was totally evil. Also, Erik Van der Woodsen came out and Serena killed somebody.
This week we got the story behind Serena's 11th-hour confession, and oh boy, show, you have outdone yourself this time! We could never have predicted that the dirty dealings would go all the way back to the pilot. Genius!
So when Serena says she killed a guy, she's exaggerating a little. After the wild wedding at which she and Nate coupled, S. met Georgina at a hotel with their friend Pete. G. had planned to tape Pete and Serena having sex, but before they could, Pete overdosed. Serena called the paramedics while she was leaving, but they couldn't revive him.
S. skipped town and convinced her mom to send her to boarding school to cover up the big secret. But Georgina still has the tape--which includes some steamy footage of Serena and Pete making out--and is trying to blackmail Serena with it. Her plan falls apart when Blair stages an intervention.
Unfortunately this could not stop the kudzu-like evil of Georgina from spreading. Where did this atrocious photo come from? Your answer, after the jump.
Previously: Serena made nice with Georgina while Blair made nice with her main Yale competition. Boring, weird Vanessa hooked up with pretty Nate. And Jenny's new love interest Asher may make her feel less hatred for Blair. Meanwhile, we hoped for a Cinco de Mayo-themed episode just in time for "somebody" to come out.
So, this is the episode we've all been waiting for, where "someone comes out." Well, if you hadn't read all the spoilers, it was Eric van der Woodsen, who met a nice boy named Asher when he was in the psychiatric hospital. When Asher got out he would still make out with Eric, but he wanted a beard so he picked up sweet little Jenny.
Unfortunately, Jenny only finds all this out at the Upper East Side party she throws with Asher's help--and only because Blair steals Asher's phone and sends all his private texts to Gossip Girl. J throws in the towel and resigns herself to being a Brooklyn outcast, outclassed at last.
Previously, on "Gossip Girl": Jenny got herself in a whole heap o' trouble when, in a battle royale with Blair for social dominance, she stole a friend's mom's made-to-order Valentino. Also, Chuck and Serena experienced family-blending pains and S. got mysterious packages of evil from "G."
Time to take the SATs, lucky juniors! Too bad life always gets in the way of standardized testing. For Serena, it's the resurfacing of an old friend, Georgina ("Buffy" actress Michelle Trachtenberg), who claims her scandalous packages were just meant to make S. laugh, and who wants her to go out like they used to in the week before the big test.
Serena is understandably wary of this new development, which is why she refuses to tell Dan what's going on and instead confides in stepbrother Chuck. When S. tries to exhibit some restraint, G. roofies her the night before her Scantron of Doom, and she misses the SAT. Good thing Chuck thought to hire someone to take the test for her...
Oh well, it's not like anyone else was paying attention to their studies this week.
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by egw
