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Etiquette / Travel Rants / → All Tags

Travel Pet Peeves: Seatmate Social Butterflies

You know how all the travel books say that the best part of vacationing is meeting new people? False. The very word "vacation" actually comes from the Latin, "vacare" meaning "to be free" and "ation" meaning "the bevy of idiots who make day-to-day existence a torturous, mind numbing trek through triviality and mediocrity." That's a fact. You can look it up.

We thought our post on the Five Unspoken Rules Of Seatmate Etiquette was pretty clear: "it's okay to exchange pleasantries with the person next to you ... but don't strain to keep the conversation going like you're on a date."

But this advice hasn't completely helped. On a recent flight, a Chatty Cathy actually physically gestured for us to take off our headphones and stop listening to music, so that she could personally enliven our in-flight experience with questions like "so what do you do?" It turns out that answering with "write about situations like this" is considered, in some cultures, rude.

All of this is a roundabout way of saying: please don't try to engage us in conversation. Just because the capricious will of the seat assignment algorithm ordained that we spend time in physical proximity doesn't mean we have to share anything more than air and the armrest.

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Seatmates / In-Flight Hell / Etiquette / Bad Seatmates / → All Tags

Five Unspoken Rules Of Seatmate Etiquette

Just because your seat pocket doesn't contain a list of rules for Seatmate Etiquette along with the safety pamphlet and the SkyMall catalog doesn't mean the cabin is a place where anything goes. But sometimes we wish the unwritten compact of in-flight behavior was set down -- if only so we could throw the book at our favorite offenders. Are you one of them? We've come up with five regulations for our fellow passengers, and we'll try to abide by them as well.

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Etiquette / Restaurants / → All Tags

Failing the Waiter Test

If you're one mean bastard, it might be better to stifle your natural aggression when dining out with someone important: lots of CEOs believe that the way people treat waiters is an excellent indicator of how they will act with their co-workers and subordinates.

If you hurl a salt shaker or two in the direction of the sommelier, you probably won't handle yourself well under stress when that big project is due. Hmm. Perhaps they would be wise to read our rules of etiquette for Americans traveling abroad before dinner, to give themselves a little schooling first.

Related Stories:
·   CEOs say how you treat a waiter can predict a lot [USAT]
·   Waiter Rant [site]
·   Ugly Americans Get Schooled [Jaunted]

Britain / Etiquette / Culture / → All Tags

How to be a Brit

It's not just the U.S. State Department and big business that are giving advice to Americans on how to behave when they travel abroad. The Guardian's Tim Dowling--he's American, so it's kosher--has some tips to Americans who plan to come to Britain. Among them are embracing a hatred for George W. Bush, or at least paying lip service to it, abandoning any hope of eating "authentic' British food, and dressing for only one kind of weather at a time. Here's the money graf:

In the UK overt displays of friendliness are taken as a sign of brain damage. This sounds horrible, but actually it's a fairly good rule of thumb. Try to match your moroseness to those around you. Occasionally you will run across that rare British person who is not just friendly but outgoing, helpful, charming and loquacious. He is a con man.

That's why New Yorkers like London so much--they're already acclimated to distrusting anyone who is friendly.

Related Stories:
·   For my British pals [Guardian]
·   Ugly Americans Get Schooled [Jaunted]

Food / Japan / Culture / Etiquette / → All Tags

Inscrutable Sushi

How does anyone ever manage to eat sushi? With all those varieties, sauces, and strange little customs, it's enough to make a person stab themselves in the neck with a chopstick.

Even if you know exactly how to throw those little hunks of protein into you mouth without a single accident, you might still enjoy this informative video on etiquette in sushi restaurants. It's so very thorough, it even tells you the correct angle to use to push aside the curtain at the entrance. You can arrigato us later -- unless that goes against your samurai vanity.

Related Stories:
·   Sushi-Ya Etiquette [Beware of the Blog, via Landspeednyc]

Bad Language / Britain / Etiquette / Sid Vicious / → All Tags

Brit Swears 101

Tiger Woods has gotten into a spot of bother for self-criticizing a recent golf performance by saying "As soon as I got on the green, I was a spaz." While the American press yawned (or edited the word out of their coverage entirely), the British press is using the opportunity for criticism and some soul-searching of their own.

Spaz is a much harsher word across the pond, but how does it compare to other nasty British swears? According to this list of the Britain's Top 25 swear words, "spaz" tops out at number 15. But "wanker," at #4, is much worse. "Bastard" and "bollocks" also comes in surprisingly high, at #6 and #8. And "piss off," at #14, is just about as bad as "spaz." Remember all this the next time a Brit calls you a wanker -- he may be angrier than you think.

Related Stories:
·   The 's' word [BBC]
·   "As soon as I got on the green . . ." [Althouse]
·   Anglosphere is to Offense [Townleyblog]
·   Woods apologizes for 'spaz' comment [USA Today]

Tourism / Travel / Etiquette / Americans / → All Tags

Ugly Americans Get Schooled

Americans do not have the best reputation abroad. Whether it's a result of the Bush administration's policies or American egotism, their standing as thoughtful tourists could use some improvement. Enter non-profit group Business for Diplomatic Action.

Funded by a bunch of large American companies, the group will begin issuing a guide with sixteen tips, called the "World Citizens Guide", for Americans traveling abroad. Sadly, the tips are only mentioned in a WSJ article, which requires a subscription to read online. So, here are some of their tips, ever-so-slightly adbridged and edited by Jaunted, of course.

Avoid Boastfulness: Replace "We saved your asses in Dubya Dubya Two!" with "Thank you so much for joining the Coalition of the Willing".

Avoid Loudness: Instead of shouting "Phew! This little froggy is ripe," send a text message to your friend about it.  "P.U.! Smell you L8R, Francois," is an acceptable replacement.

Speak Slower: English as a second language speakers are more likely to respond to your request for directions if you speak to them in a clear, even tone. Speak to them as if they have a mild mental handicap, or are a very smart dog.

Dress Up: During the summer, remember to bring your dress shorts. Sweatpants with slogans on the rear end may be too casual for some religious shrines, so make sure to pack a plain grey or black pair.

Tone Down Talk of Politics: It can create an uncomfortable situation when a foreigner has a better understanding of our bicameral legislature than you do. To play it safe, ask their president's name, then make fun of how stupid it sounds if the conversation drifts towards political discussion.

Tone Down Talk of National Pride: If you are chanting "U.S.A.! U.S.A.!", make sure to do it slowly and clearly, so as ensure that locals understand what you are saying. Remember, you are a visitor in their country.

Eat Slower: Don't rush your meals--portions in McDonald's abroad can be up to one third smaller than those at home, so you'll want to pace yourself.

Yup, we're all about promoting cross-cultural understanding here at Jaunted.

[Image via MykReeve/Flickr]

Related Stories:
·   The Middle Seat [WSJ]