And your ogre can sing: "Shrek: The Musical" takes the next giant, flatulent step towards Broadway tonight with its out-of-town world premiere in Seattle.
The adaptation of the DreamWorks children's movie stars Broadway vets Brian D'Arcy James ("Sweet Smell of Success," "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels") and Sutton Foster ("Young Frankenstein" and the VH-1 show "Flight of the Conchords"), with a book by David Lindsay-Abaire, is expected to siphon tourist dollars away from "The Little Mermaid" and other family faves, even if it falls flat on its green face. But the out-of-town tryout is crucial to developing the buzz that will fuel ticket sales--something "Young Frankenstein" never built last fall in its previews in Chicago.
"Shrek" runs through September 21 in the Emerald City and opens in New York in November. If you happen to be a Washingtonian who can get there, won't you drop us a line?
Hey, remember Kevin Federline? Seems like a year ago he had full custody of the sanity from the Spears-Federline marriage. But now the former Mr. Britney just got canned from his latest job as a bit actor on Broadway in "Legally Blonde."
What does one have to do to get fired from a show based on a Reese Witherspoon movie, for which MTV just cast the lead via reality show? Well... no one really knows, but we assume he wanted to introduce his own raps into the proceedings. In any case, "Blonde" is missing some of its actors and Federline, who recently assumed full custody of sons Jayden James and Sean Preston, will have more time to spend being a dad.
Other interesting stunt-casting news from this month: Aubrey O'Day of Danity Kane goes to "Hairspray"; Whoopi Goldberg steps into the shoes of a goddess in "Xanadu" and Jeremy Piven will take the lead in the revival of David Mamet's "Speed-the-Plow" alongside "Mad Men" striver Elisabeth Moss. Oh, and the winner of the MTV show was a preacher's daughter from South Carolina named Bailey Hanks who had never seen a Broadway show before.
Antonio Banderas will always be Che in the big-screen "Evita" adaptation to us, but the voice of Puss and Boots has set his sights on bringing "Don Giovanni" to Broadway.
The actor received a Tony nomination for "Nine," the Fellini-inspired musical whose own movie is currently filming, but apparently he won't go home until he gets the gold for playing the classical doomed rake.
He's going to have a lot of competition for those tourist eyeballs: Daniel Radcliffe bows this fall with his revival of "Equus" that played in London last year (complete with nudity!) and Katie Holmes will be appearing in an all-star revival of Arthur Miller's "All My Sons" with John Lithgow, Dianne Wiest and Patrick Wilson.
Josh Hartnett isn't even trying New York; he'll be debuting in the stage version of "Rain Man" in the West End. (He's playing the Tom Cruise character, not the Dustin Hoffman character.)
If you buy today, you might still be able to get in to see newly minted Tony Award winner "In the Heights" this summer. The show picked up four awards last night at the ceremony, hosted by Whoopi Goldberg. The sweet, Bernstein-meets-"Rent" show about residents of New York's Washington Heights neighborhood mixes contemporary Latin rhythms with a cute story about community and coming home.
Another winner on last night was the 60s sex farce and Best Revival "Boeing Boeing," now playing at the Longacre Theatre. The plot about a Paris businessman whose three lovers are flight attendants with complementary schedules may sound a little creaky, but we caught it a few weeks ago and were delightfully surprised at how much we laughed.
Tony nominee Mary McCormack in particular is completely off the rails. (She lost to an actress in Best Play "August: Osage County," which will go on national tour from New York in August.)
It was threatened, and now it will probably come to pass: Katie Holmes is in talks to appear in Arthur Miller's play "All My Sons" next year on Broadway, meaning that next year's Tony Awards will all be about The Holmes (and the creepy, scenery-devouring shadow of The Cruise as well).
Holmes is rumored to be playing the role of Ann Deever, the play's beautiful young catalyst and the daughter of a man convicted of shipping defective airplane parts to the troops during World War II. Shouldn't she be easing into this Broadway thing? We hear "Chicago" has openings.
Suddenly-super-hot Daniel Radcliffe will make his Broadway debut this fall, when he and the cast of "Equus" visit New York City. We assume you've already heard that the now-18-year-old star will appear naked on-stage for at least part of the production.
While we wouldn't call that the best reason to go see some theater, we can't deny it'll drive some ticket sales. Just know this: "Equus" isn't the kind of kid-friendly show you might expect from the "Harry Potter" actor. Previews at the Broadhurst Theatre start September 5; opening night is 9/25.
It's always baffled us that people will drop hundreds of dollars on Broadway shows without even knowing the plot of the musical they're gonna see. And we've heard more than a few stories that end with "Anyway, had I known those puppets were gonna have sex, I wouldn't have taken my parents."
Fortunately, The New York Times has gone and rounded up all the kid-friendly shows in the city, at least according to a mom of two tweens:
Many shows seem to beckon families with children but on closer inspection come with caveats, be it crude language, racy behavior or complex plot turns. If you're going to make the investment--which can run more than $400 for a family of four--what is worth the tab? What is appropriate?
Of course, if you like your theater on the racy side, just pick out the shows writer Robin Pogrebin suggests skipping. Among them are "Avenue Q" (featuring puppet sex and drinking games), "Spring Awakening" (center stage sex) and "Curtains" (lots of swearing).
If those aren't trashy enough for ya, you'll have to look Off Broadway. Scouting out the toilets at Central Park might be a good start.
The question is, how has Dolly Parton not been on Broadway already? The singer with larger-than-life, er, hair has an image bigger than Patti LuPone's voice, so New York columnist Cindy Adams' news that Parton is prepping a "9 to 5" musical seems like a natural next step.
The show, based on the 1980 movie about a badly behaved boss, will feature a whole new Dolly score to go along with the title song.
The "9 to 5" musical is projected to open at San Diego's Old Globe Theatre LA's Ahmanson Theatre in September before transferring to Broadway in 2009, behind the "Shrek" musical but ahead of proposed adaptations of "Catch Me If You Can" and "Guess Who's Coming To Dinner." Truly, nothing new under the klieg lights.
Update: Cindy Adams slipped up and said Dolly'd be playing at the Old Globe. "9 to 5" will actually debut at LA's Ahmanson Theatre.