Previously: The gang all got back together to save Serena, but they couldn't keep her boyfriend Dan from straying... to Georgina. Also, Serena left some guy to die but it's all OK now! And Lily and Rufus were drawn back together again, on the eve of her wedding to Chuck's father Bart Bass.
Wedding today! Wedding today! And the bride wakes up... in Rufus' arms? Oops. Lily runs after Bart, who compares her love for Rufus to a building he bought a long time ago but thinks he should sell off. Subtle!
But despite an eleventh-hour appeal by Rufus, Lily marries Bart and the Van der Bartsen monolith is created at the Cooper-Hewitt Museum, on (naturally) the Upper East Side. Rufus goes on tour for the summer, not bothering to hide his broken heart at all. (By the way, the CW's promos for the new "90210" feature an English teacher who could be Matthew Settle'stwin. Do we have room for two guilty pleasures next fall?)
While the wedding goes off without a hitch, another couple is not so lucky. Serena goes to Brooklyn to apologize to Dan, only to find Georgina there--and still denying everything the other Upper East Siders are saying about her. Blair uses Dan as bait to trap Georgina in the park and informs Papa and Mama Sparks of her presence in New York. It's off to reform school for her! (Apparently G. once went to the same rehab as Lindsay Lohan...)
Previously: Georgina was evil, Georgina was evil, Georgina was totally evil. Also, Erik Van der Woodsen came out and Serena killed somebody.
This week we got the story behind Serena's 11th-hour confession, and oh boy, show, you have outdone yourself this time! We could never have predicted that the dirty dealings would go all the way back to the pilot. Genius!
So when Serena says she killed a guy, she's exaggerating a little. After the wild wedding at which she and Nate coupled, S. met Georgina at a hotel with their friend Pete. G. had planned to tape Pete and Serena having sex, but before they could, Pete overdosed. Serena called the paramedics while she was leaving, but they couldn't revive him.
S. skipped town and convinced her mom to send her to boarding school to cover up the big secret. But Georgina still has the tape--which includes some steamy footage of Serena and Pete making out--and is trying to blackmail Serena with it. Her plan falls apart when Blair stages an intervention.
Unfortunately this could not stop the kudzu-like evil of Georgina from spreading. Where did this atrocious photo come from? Your answer, after the jump.
Scarlett and Ryan? Bo-ring.Bret and Ambre? Not gonna happen. Clearly the major celebrity wedding of this season is that of Lily van der Woodsen and Bart Bass, two of the parents on "Gossip Girl."
Now that their wedding website has launched, even those who didn't receive a hand-delivered, card stock invitation to the May 19 fete can laud or mock the couple's choices--like having their teenage children form the entire wedding party. Certainly nothing can go wrong there!
Since both have been married before, the couple decided to hold their nuptials at the Cooper-Hewitt Museum, with reception to follow at the Palace Hotel where they both live along with their children. Now the only question is, who will object to this most unholy matrimony and halt the ceremony in its tracks?
Will it be Bart's son Chuck, who has not-so-secretly been lusting after Lily's daughter Serena since he tried to seduce her with a truffle-oil grilled cheese? Or will it be Serena's boyfriend's father, who has carried a torch for Lily since before her four previous marriages?
Previously: Serena made nice with Georgina while Blair made nice with her main Yale competition. Boring, weird Vanessa hooked up with pretty Nate. And Jenny's new love interest Asher may make her feel less hatred for Blair. Meanwhile, we hoped for a Cinco de Mayo-themed episode just in time for "somebody" to come out.
So, this is the episode we've all been waiting for, where "someone comes out." Well, if you hadn't read all the spoilers, it was Eric van der Woodsen, who met a nice boy named Asher when he was in the psychiatric hospital. When Asher got out he would still make out with Eric, but he wanted a beard so he picked up sweet little Jenny.
Unfortunately, Jenny only finds all this out at the Upper East Side party she throws with Asher's help--and only because Blair steals Asher's phone and sends all his private texts to Gossip Girl. J throws in the towel and resigns herself to being a Brooklyn outcast, outclassed at last.
Previously, on "Gossip Girl": Jenny got herself in a whole heap o' trouble when, in a battle royale with Blair for social dominance, she stole a friend's mom's made-to-order Valentino. Also, Chuck and Serena experienced family-blending pains and S. got mysterious packages of evil from "G."
Time to take the SATs, lucky juniors! Too bad life always gets in the way of standardized testing. For Serena, it's the resurfacing of an old friend, Georgina ("Buffy" actress Michelle Trachtenberg), who claims her scandalous packages were just meant to make S. laugh, and who wants her to go out like they used to in the week before the big test.
Serena is understandably wary of this new development, which is why she refuses to tell Dan what's going on and instead confides in stepbrother Chuck. When S. tries to exhibit some restraint, G. roofies her the night before her Scantron of Doom, and she misses the SAT. Good thing Chuck thought to hire someone to take the test for her...
Oh well, it's not like anyone else was paying attention to their studies this week.
Previously, on "Gossip Girl":Blair, faced with social exile and the abandonment of both her boys, contemplated fleeing the country, but Serena talked her down, 'cause what's life without frenemies? Also, Serena's boyfriend Dan told her he loves her, and nothing terrible happened! Also, we missed this show for three months and cried in our rooms with nothing but Oreo Cakesters to sustain us, and now we are out of sample sizes. Thank God, we're back.
Jenny's 15th birthday is coming up, and what would be more proper than a drunken revel at Socialista? Trouble is, Jenny has no money left for fancy dinners and she's hocked everything that's hockable, so she decides to steal a red dress out of a lackey's apartment.
When she finds out the dress--a $50,000 custom Valentino--has been missed, Jenny tries to buy it back but can't afford its new elevated price, so she steals it out of the consignment shop... and walks right into a surprise party Blair spitefully organized to show all of J's friends how their new queen really lives. But she wins the crowd back by showing up at Butter on the arm of--no way!--Blair's ex-boyfriend Nate!
That's gotta burn for Blair, who is victimized by her former crowd earlier (yogurt thrown on her head, a table of no-shows at Butter) and has a "Breakfast at Tiffany's"-themed nightmare about a lost Cat. Her best friend-slash-enemy Serena helps her survive the post-Spring Break return to school, but La Van Der Woodson has problems of her own. After the jump, find out what they are...
We were hoping for a big, big episode of "Gossip Girl" to cap this strike-truncated season, and boy, we weren't disappointed. It was both beautiful and awful--just like Chuck's sweater up there. (Seriously, does someone in the costume department have it in for Ed Westwick? Last week he had a fricking mock turtleneck on.)
Anyways, this was the week that all the remaining secrets shook out of our friends' pockets. Gossip Girl caught Serena buying a pregnancy test, but she actually bought it for Blair, whose season-long dalliances with two men finally made it onto GG as well (thanks to Chuck). Not surprisingly, she is not pregnant, but even the rumor causes lots of fallout for both of them: Nate effectively dumps Blair, Chuck tells her she's no longer attractive to him because she isn't "beautiful, delicate and untouched" anymore (pig!) and Jenny and the rest of her underlings overthrow her as Queen B.
Blair's about to run off to France for the rest of the year, but Serena convinces her to stay and fight in a sweet reverse-"Casablanca" moment.
The Humphrey family B-plot? Rufus accidentally sees the photo of Serena buying the test and attempts to have The Talk with Dan, dissuading him from getting too serious with Serena. "Don't listen to him! He's old and alone," says Jenny, astutely. Dan decides to tell Serena he loves her, but when he finally does, she says, "What?" (Note to the 2.8 boys reading this: Please don't take advantage of a pregnancy scare to do this! First, we've seen this happen in every other show just like you have. Second, we're probably contemplating becoming nuns. XOXO, Jaunted Girl.)
We don't have a Prep of the Ep this week, but we'd like to give a special shout-out to the Super-Close Siblings of "Gossip Girl." So what if Serena's brother Eric listens to her conversations, so long as she can offer sage advice? And Jenny's the one who pressed Dan to tell Serena again that he loves her, instead of just leaving it at "I blurted it out because I thought you were with child." How odd that two fractured families should produce kids who are loyal to each other. Maybe Blair would have been better off with a brother?
Apparently winter break just wasn't enough for our favorite prepsters to get the friskies out. In "School Lies," this week's episode of "Gossip Girl," our heroes are having an illicit pool party at school featuring shots and bikinis (except on Serena, who sports the most awful Mom suit ever).
It's all fun and games till somebody gets knocked out, and two-thirds of the junior class is suddenly on in-school suspension till somebody 'fesses up. Chuck finds the key to the pool and tries to blackmail Blair with it, because she still hasn't completely broken things off with Nate. (He finds Vanessa much easier to blackmail.)
Nate finds the key in Blair's dresser during a "We're Suspended, Yay!" party and tells the stern new headmistress he did it, but she doesn't believe him. Yet Blair finds the gesture romantic and makes out with him anyway.
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by egw
