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There are small TSA screw-ups, like screwing up a PreCheck procedure. There are big TSA screw-ups, like publishing classified info in the dumbest way imaginable. And then there are the screw-ups that make you sit up, kind of tilt your head sideways, and ask yourself how anybody could be so bad at their jobs.
A TV station in Texas did some digging about possible security vulnerabilities at DFW and found what might be generously described as a total clusterfuck: "lost and stolen airline uniform shirts, an entire FedEx pilot's uniform, missing TSA badges and even a federal flight deck officer's credentials and badge, which allow a pilot to carry a gun on a plane." And that was just one airport. The station uncovered similar problems, specifically having to do with lost badges, across the country.
LAX / TSA / Weird News / Celebrities / Airport Security / Airline Security / → All Tags
Some guy walked away from TSA at LAX yesterday, and when police confronted him, he... kept going. Lots of shouting ensued, and eventually the man was tased. Normally this would be your standard airport security story: how the hell did a guy get deep inside the terminal before security brought him down, why is TSA so bad at everything, and so on.
Except because the incident happened in 2015 in a public place, and because everything and everyone is horrible, the whole thing was documented on social media. And because it happened in LAX, celebrities were involved.
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TSA has contracts totalling $1.2 billion with four different companies to maintain its machines. Last year it spent about $251 million making sure its super-irritating scanners and its somewhat-less-irritating bomb detectors were at least working. Maintenance seems like a reasonable thing to do, and is the minimum you'd expect in exchange for the hassle that U.S. travelers go through.
Except a new report from the Office of Inspector General has revealed that, oh by the way, officials from TSA have no idea if any of the maintanance work is keeping the machines working. Take the next step, and the logical conclusion is that officials from the travel security agency don't know if the machines themselves are working properly. Because why would they?
Why are they so bad at everything?
The TSA groping scandal seems like it's been going on for a year, but people are still talking about it so it's worth putting on your radar.
The Economist - an outlet that has spent roughly 150 years developing its dry, understated tone - lit up the airport security agency earlier this week, calling it out for "repeated sexual assaults." This is of course in the wake of two TSA agents, a guy and a girl, getting fired for being part of a "pat downs for pleasure" conspiracy.
The scheme was actually kind of clever, albeit staggeringly illegal and guaranteed to detonate whatever trust the public still had in TSA. When the guy saw another guy he wanted to grope heading through a scanner, he would send a signal to his accomplice. The accomplice would then tell the scanner that it was scanning a female. The scanner would look for female body parts and - there's no gentle way to write this - detect a bulge around the groin area that wasn't supposed to be there. It would return an alarm, the traveler would get pulled aside for secondary screening, and then the groping would happen.
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Last Friday a lunatic - we think it's fair to call him a lunatic - walked into Louis Armstrong International in New Orleans and began trying to hack up the place with a machete.
He used anti-wasp spray to keep security officers at bay, and it would later be discovered that the bag he was carrying was filled with Molotov cocktails. The attacker managed to badly injure a TSA worker before finally being brought down by a sheriff who was in the area.
And therein lies the debate that started on Monday: what would have happened had the armed officer not been there? TSA personnel are trained to handle rampages, and this article describes some of the tactics they used (one guy blocked the machete with a piece of luggage while travelers fled the area). But the only thing that stops an attack like this in its tracks is a well-aimed shot, and TSA agents aren't armed.
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Either the TSA is actively trolling the American people, or these guys actually are so incompetent they could screw up a one car parade.
You guys obviously know about PreCheck and PreCheck lines, and you've probably heard about how some airports send passengers randomly into the PreCheck line to speed things up. The idea is that if you randomly send every 10th or every 20th passenger through expedited screening, what are the odds that the person you randomly selected is actually a terrorist? Want to guess how this turns out?
A new report, published last week by Homeland Security, revealed that the system sent a notorious felon and terrorist through a PreCheck line. This guy was so famous that he was recognized by sight by the officers in the PreCheck line. They alerted their supervisor, who of course ordered the officer to let the terrorist continue on his way. Stellar work from start to finish from America's exquisitely staffed airport security agency.
The TSA's response, by the by, is that it "takes its responsibility for protecting the traveling public very seriously." Feel better?
TSA / PHL / Airport Security / Airline Security / → All Tags
You guys don't like to hear this, but most of your complaints about TSA are kind of bullsh*t. Sometimes the stories are true but silly: it took an extra 5 minutes to get through line, the TSA agent didn't smile enough, etc.
Other times the tales come from conspiracy theorists who are looking for a way to finally prove that airport security is part of a secret plot to domesticate the American sheeple in preparation for a takeover by black United Nations helicopters. Those descriptions all but universally turn out to be questionable.
Then there's the story that's currently making the rounds, which has now reached legitimate news outlets like the Associated Press. Roger Vanderklok is a runner in his late 50s who was going through security at PHL two years ago on his way to a Miami half-marathon.
Naturally he was carrying energy bars and a sports watch, which he had wrapped in a PVC pipe so they wouldn't get crushed. Something happened at the checkpoint, he didn't like it, he asked to file a complaint, and he ended up arrested and in a holding cell for around 20 hours without being allowed to contact the outside world (including his wife, who couldn't find him).
A judge eventually dismissed the case, and of course there's a lawsuit in play now. That's not the interesting part.
It's that time of the year again, the time when the year just plain ends. Alas, we can't just let 2014 go that easily, especially since travelers spent it both up in the air and up in arms over a crazy range of topics. Now we take a brief look back at the best and worst of 2014 with the Jaunted Travel Awards,or as we fondly refer to themThe Jauntys.
It's not exactly breaking news that the TSA has personnel problems. This is an agency that recruits employees by putting ads on the top of pizza boxes. And while it's true that everybody loves pizza, the tactic casts TSA's overall approach to finding and retaining talent in a less than fantastic -quality l. The situation is not helped by decisions made at the very top of the airport security organization, which include expanding programs that have zero effectiveness.
2014 saw something of a new low, however. First in February and then in July, stories started airing about how TSA agents were refusing to accept Washington DC drivers licenses as valid forms of ID. In at least the latter case, it kind of seemed like the agent didn't know what Washington DC was or, more specifically, that it was in the United States. The incidents were strange for a number of reasons. First, TSA is sometimes very lax about what acceptable IDs, to the point where the issue became a national scandal in the fall. Second of all, Washington DC is the capital of the United States.
Here's a feel-good story to ease you into the holidays.
The Obama administration is preparing to issue a new set of guidelines that will for the first time ban national security agencies from conducting profiling based on race, religion, national origin, or sexual orientation. There are already rules going back to 2003 banning racial profiling by most parts of the federal government, but those rules don't apply to national security agencies and don't encompass religion, national origin, or sexual orientation. These new guidelines are aimed at shoring up those oversights.
All well and good, unless you're the TSA, and part of your job is to apply extra scrutiny to people originating in places like Syria and Yemen just in case they're terrorists. In that case you'd be kind of screwed, unless you could get an exemption from the new restrictions. Want to guess how this story ends?
TSA / Airport Security / Airline Security / Carry-On Baggage / Carry-On Luggage / Holiday Travel / → All Tags
You thought the TSA was going to lighten up for the holidays. You read on Jaunted that the agency was letting passengers bring ice skates and even pies on board planes. Elsewhere you may have heard that top TSA officials were looking to loosen existing restrictions on some liquids for some travelers. Overall it seemed as if limitations on carry-on baggage were moving in the right direction.
How about instead of that, the TSA just goes ahead and bans all carry-on luggage over the holiday season? No exceptions. How would that suit you?
The TSA is making its annual "please don't make holiday travel more miserable than it already is" push, in which the agency begs travelers not to bring obviously prohibited items into checkpoints for at least the next few months. TSA officials try something like this every year, and it usually more or less completely fails. The problem isn't with the airport security organization, for once. The kind of person who tries to bring chemical-soaked sparklers on board an airplane - real example - just isn't the sort of person who reads TSA-related press releases. Or any press releases, really.
And yet here we are. This year the agency tried to get attention by throwing together a press event at just a single airport, gathering reporters for a show-and-tell at JFK. That's not a terrible idea as far as PR goes, because local reporters always need stories and this way things are easy for them. You give them a press kit, you issue a statement, and everyone is done in time for happy hour. We're not sure it'll actually make a difference, in the sense that we're pretty sure it won't make a difference. But it was a mildly entertaining show, and so you might as well know it happened.
Time for another edition of "People are Idiots, and That's Why We Can't Fix TSA." True story.
Many years ago DHS received a Congressional mandate to secure the nation's airports, which the department duly implemented by putting up TSA checkpoints everywhere. Critics of the agency almost immediately began to complain about its uselessness - "security theater" was a popular catchphrases - and some went so far as to accuse TSA of actively conspiring to destroy America.
After a while TSA responded with: "Listen, we can't just shut down inspections because Congress won't let us. How about instead we establish this new PreCheck system, where for only $85 you can pass a background check and breeze through security?"