Jaunted

Tags: Airport Hell / LGA / Snow Days / Airport Cheat Sheet / → All Tags

The Five Stages Of Flight Delays

Some of us are going to LaGuardia Airport again this morning to attempt to break through Airport Hell and make it home in time for Christmas. After our Friday travel nightmare we'd rather have taken a covered wagon home, but a weekend's perspective and all the wine in the house have allowed us to put things in perspective.

With apologies to Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, we present our five stages:

Denial, before you've even gotten to the airport. Even though it snows every December, and airports always shut down when it happens, I'm totally fine. (Or: Since my flight home last year was a nightmare, this year's going to be great--just you watch!)

Depression. Compounded when gate agents warn you to stay in the gate area to inform you of delays--and the only news is "we're going to be delayed for a while."

Anger, at the gate agents. What do you mean, "They haven't even started plowing yet" at my destination? Who's running the show over there?

Depression, with actual crying by adults. If occurring around Christmas, may also include skipping songs on your iPod like "I'll Be Home For Christmas," "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" or "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)." Stupid songs about holiday abandonment.

Seemingly irrepressible anger. Stupid person behind me in line at ticketing! If you run your Smarte-Carte into me one more time I'm going to punch you!

Swearing you're never going to fly again. Come on, who are you kidding? This is a travel website. If we could stop, we wouldn't be here.

Bargaining. How about you rebook me on the next flight and throw in a three-martini lunch for my troubles? No? Uh, how about just rebooking me then?

Resignation. Maybe the couch and the first season of "Weeds" are better than US Weekly and gate B18.

Returning to the airport. Once more into the breach, dear friends, once more!

Related Stories:
· Flying Can Have Its Indignities, But It's Still Awesome [Jaunted]
· Winter Storms in the US Leave Snarled Flights and Snarling Passengers [Jaunted]
· Delay Dispatch: Snug As A Bug In A Rug At JFK's Terminal 5 [Jaunted]

[Photo: sgvisuals]