A 10 mile stretch of Los Angeles's 405 freeway"the 405" to Southern Californians who know how to refer to freeways properly, "405" to the rest of you peopleis going to be closed September 29-30. As with the 2011 405 closure, this event is being met with the panic usually reserved for planetary collisions with particularly large comets.
Los Angeles hospitals are bracing for disaster and taking emergency measures because apparently just telling people to 'go around' or 'take side streets' isn't sufficient. The LA economy has been fully reconfigured to "encourage Angelenos to stay out of their cars and...close to home." The mayor even held a press conference to try to contain the rising panic, during which he assured residents that they would will still be able to have "fun" despite not being able to drive on that particular 10 mile stretch of asphalt.
Now. Ideally we'd like to devote an entire post to how the mayor of America's second largest city had to explain to his fellow citizens that "car-free doesn't mean fun-free." But we don't have that kind of time, and you don't need to read about the impending collapse of civilization on a Friday afternoon.
So instead here's the interactive LA Metro page listing activities and discounts designed to keep people close to home. For residents who absolutely have to go beyond walking distance, Metrolink is offering extended late night service and $10 weekend passes good for unlimited rides. We've also embedded Metro's explanatory video at the bottom, which covers all of the stuff we would be telling you about if we weren't disappointed beyond words.
Seriously though. "Car-free doesn't mean fun-free." Who talks like that to other adults? What the hell is going on? Is anybody even in charge any more?