Jaunted

· Humungus Fungus Fest
This three-day Crystal Falls, Michigan, fest honors the world's largest mushroom, which weighs a staggering 11 tons and spans 37 acres. Fittingly, the August 5-7 festival celebrates by cooking up the biggest mushroom pizza in the world.

· Cream Cheese Festival
Sure, you may spread it on your bagel, but how much do you really appreciate cream cheese? At this September 17 fest, use the spread as finger paint on a mural or chow down on a ginormous cheesecake that is 20 feet in diameter.

· Luling Watermelon Thump
This Texas festival dedicated four days to the wondrous watermelon, including an attempt to break the Guinness World Record for seed spitting and a melon-eating contest. It runs June 23 to 26.

· Summer Redneck Games
You know you're a redneck if you attend this July 9 fest that claims to be "more fun than indoor plumbing." At the East Dublin, Georgia, athletic event, bob for pig's feet, throw toilet seat in Redneck Horseshoes or join the mud-pit belly flop contest.

· Gilroy Garlic Festival
From July 29 to 31, this fest will stink up California with treats like garlic ice cream and garlic chocolate. Top Chef alum Angelo Sosa will oversee the Great Garlic Showdown cooking competition.

· Barnesville Potato Days
While you can stuff your face with spuds in the French Fry Feed at this August 26 to 27 fest, it's not all about eating potatoes. You can show off your WWE moves in mashed potato wrestling or design a sculpture made of mashed taters.

· Wisconsin State Cow Chip Throw
Test your athletic prowess with this Prairie du Sac festival's chip throw. And if you didn't know, "cow chips" are discs of poop. Get your hands dirty with 40,000 other fest-goers September 2 and 3.

· National Baby Food Festival
Fremont, Michigan, houses one of the nation's largest baby food factories, but don't think this fest is only for your infant. There's a baby-food-eating contest for adults and a very mature bubble-gum-blowing competition. It runs July 20 to 23.

· UFO Festival
Of course this July 1 to 4 UFO festival takes place in Roswell. Join other conspiracy theorists by dressing up for the elaborate alien costume contest for you and your pet or go for more serious events, like listening to lectures from UFO and extraterrestrial experts and authors.

· Testy Festy
Head to Rock Creek Lodge, Montana, from August 3 to 7 to feast on what's delicately called Rocky Mountain oysters, or bull's testicles. The Testy Festy goes nuts deep-fries the naught bits and skewers them to make kebabs. It'll be a change-up from the usual summertime burgers and hot dogs.

[Photo: Record Review]