Jaunted

Travelers said things like "it seems like you're spending too much time inspecting liquids and not enough time looking for guns or streamlining intelligence, making the airport experience more insufferable without adding any extra security." DHS officials responded by referencing how they've done super-secret risk evaluations pegging the safe size of hand sanitizer bottles at 3oz. Then the Christmas Day terrorist struck, and his method was a simple hidden bomb smuggled in from another country, and he threw up numerous red flags that were ignored, and DHS head Napolitano declared that "the system worked."

Travelers having been saying things like "it looks like the decision to install these new machines came from politicians listening to well-funded scanner lobbies who pushed them to spend billions on technology instead of instituting common sense screening techniques, making the airport experience horribly invasive without adding any extra security." TSA officials responded by insisting that the machines will automagically catch previously undetectable weapons, like guns hidden on the inside of undergarments. Now this happened, and TSA is brushing away concerns.

They're making things up as they go along, they're failing miserably, they're not doing anything about it—and they're telling us in the most condescending terms that they know what they're doing. No they don't. And now they're also unionizing, which will make it even harder to hold screeners accountable for minor oversights like letting weapons onto airplanes, which will cause more unblinking rationalization from agency officials.

We're in good hands, folks.

[Photo: TSA]

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