· Get wardrobe inspiration in the Red Light District
To be fair, Gaga’s dress sense is already more outlandish than hooker garb, but we like to imagine her strolling down Oudezijds Voorburgwal contemplating the PVC options for if she ever wants to take things down a gear. And the shoes! It'd be love at first sight for Gaga and the red light district heels. Perhaps she should sit and sketch some for copying by her Haus of Gaga costume department.
· Whoop it up at Jimmy Woo’s
Forget the hot girls and douchy boys of normal clubscenes; Amsterdam is different. The best club in town is Jimmy Woo’s, run by the gloriously disheveled Caspar Reinders, who claims to despise VIP tables and bottle service. At Jimmy Woo’s, the more eclectic the mix, the better. Gaga would fit right in, and we're sure that she and Caspar would be fast friends over their love of the unique.
· Visit the Handbag Museum
The Tassenmuseum Hendrikje ("Museum of Bags and Purses" to you and us) would have provided Gaga with as much accessory inspiration as you can shake a baguette bag at. There, she'd find 3500 exhibits, covering fashion in the medieval times to now. If you see her rocking an iron-framed pigskin clutch, then you’ll know from where she got the idea.
· Float along on a private canal tour
Canal tours are tacky. What isn’t tacky is a private canal tour in a 1909 cruiser in which Winston Churchill took a spin back in 1946, courtesy of the swanky Starwood Pulitzer Hotel. Good thing: at €38pp (£33/$47) for a 75 minute tour, it’s not as expensive as you’d think. Bad thing: it’s only available for guests of the hotel, and doubles this weekend start at €404 (£346/$499). Oh well, this would be a step up for Gaga, since she's been spotted staying at Sheratons before.