Jaunted

When we weren't watching commercial segments for tampons and mascara that felt longer than the actual show, we learned important facts about flight attendants, like they think that "people bring everything they own on the plane," the correct term for an FA is "in-flight team member," and these in-flight team members often pick a hot guy on a flight to call their "IFB," or "in-flight boyfriend." Louise gets flirty with Geoff, one such IFB, who invites her back to his Beverly Hills mansion for a "cocktail party." Mandy tags along (whom Geoff calls "Mandalay Bay"), but her purpose isn't clear until she saves Louise from an awkward almost-kiss with Geoff after he avoids revealing anything about himself by quoting Dr. Evil from Austin Powers. Whaaaat?!

Oh yea—and this came just after the girls met their new roommate Nikole, who we suspect doesn't even work for Virgin America and came onboard via casting. She is a really bad actress—let's just put it out there. How bad? Well, the show uses props like a white Hummer and two chihuahuas to give her the Paris Hilton personality, which she can't put forward herself. But two chihuahuas for a single flight attendant? How does a girl on the go take care of them?

Don't expect to be Nikole's IFB because she is very specific with her warning to Louise: "I don't date people I meet on the plane anymore...'Rotten Apples' I call them...but I wish you the best of luck." The key word here is "anymore;" in the previews for the next episodes, Nikole is revealed to be quite the promiscuous pony.

The huge event of the episode is Virgin America's inaugural flight into Fort Lauderdale. The girls aren't working the flights, but are on the ground as part of a mingling crew...or table centerpiece committee; we're not quite clear. We're reminded of what Farrah said earlier in the episode: "When we put on our uniform, the world's our playground and anything can happen." Well, not the world exactly because VA isn't international, but for that day Fort Lauderdale was their playground, sure.

And as teased, Richard Branson makes his appearance, donning a firefighter outfit to welcome the first flights to FLL. Joining him on the fire truck is Nikole, who underhandedly steals the opportunity from Mandy. Mandy just kind of shrugs and says she knew it would happen, but NO WAY JOSE. If we were in Mandy's position, Nikole would have our fingernails tearing apart her flight attendant bun faster than Branson could say "In-Flight Absinthe."

To kick off the after-party, Farrah utters a half-hearted "now it's time to do what we do best: par-tay!"

Coming up in the next episode: Nikole hooks up with a DJ, the girls go to New York and Las Vegas, Farrah expresses her desire to move up in the company, and Louise's sister or friend or somebody says "you're a flight attendant" with utter condescension. We're calling it now—Louise will end up being the breakout star of the series.

For another great (and way meaner) review of the show, check out The AV Club's take.

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[Photo: the CW]