Jaunted

THE RACE
From Hamburg, teams board a bus for an unknown destination (which is Les Monthairons, France). From there they must drive to Saint Menehould, find Boulangerie Defontaine and buy a fresh baguette to get their next clue, which is baked inside of it. The racers happily scarf down the tasty baguette afterward. And they call this a challenge? This is more like a reward.

The detectives were able to smell their way to the bakery and lead the group. Right out of the gate, the Big Brother Lovers have a problem with directions, yet again. And when they finally make it to the bakery, they get the bread but have no idea where their clue is. They finally find it when the Mr. takes a big bite.

DETOUR
The clue directs racers to a detour at La Main de Massiges, a hill that was the site of intense fighting in World War I. Teams must choose between in the trenches or under fire. In the trenches task, teams go in a trench's communication area and with the aid of a simple field manual, they must translate a Morse code message. In under fire, racers hunker down on their bellies in a muddy field that's booby-trapped with barb wire and crawl 100 yards to machine-gun nest. There they'll get a message and have to crawl back to safety. For both challenges, teams must attach their messages to a carrier pigeon.

The detectives go under fire. "Feel like I'm stormin' the beach of Normandy," Michael says as bombs go off. The dad-daughter team and the marrieds also choose under fire. It's not an easy task, since guns shoot and bombs blast nearby, sending dirt and smoke everywhere. The detectives finish first and come upon a blind U-turn, which means that they can force one team to go back and complete a second detour. The detectives choose the marrieds, mostly because they thought cocky Joe needed to learn a lesson. Earlier, Joe bragged that the other teams weren't any competition for him. "If we can get rid of Joe, that's a good day," Michael later says.

The marrieds hit the U-turn in third place and grudgingly go back to complete the Morse code detour. They have a hard time figuring out the code, since it's difficult to hear with the loud bombs and shooting. Plus, the message gets relayed fast. As the marrieds try to decode the message, they see many of the teams pass them.

But there's hope for them. After completing under fire, the South Carolinas struggle to find south to get to the next clue. "I wonder if they meant just south, like in as a direction, or just south, as in just go that direction," Mr. SC says. Huh?

When the Big Brother Lovers make it to the battlefield, they hit a speed bump, since they were spared elimination in the last leg. A speed bump is a challenge only they must complete. Here, they have to reinforce a trench wall with branches. "My shoes are too big, my hat is too big!" Miss Big Brother whines as she heads to the trenches. "You gotta be joking right now," the Mr. responds. After finishing the speed bump, the couple chooses under fire, but Mrs. Big Brother takes her sweet time with the crawling. "Put your boobs on the ground and drag 'em over here," Mr. Big Brother yells.

PIT STOP
After the detour, teams have to go to the Church of Massiges. There, a clue directs them to do a task inspired by the inaugural 1903 Tour de France. Teams don mustaches and old-school riding gear—i.e., no spandex—and ride antique bikes through a four-mile course to the pit stop. The cute bros look like Mario and Luigi with their mushroom hats and matching curly 'staches. Carol has a hard time pedaling. As she's huffing, Brandy says, "You take spinning three times a week, you should be kicking my ass at this."

OUSTED
The detectives gain yet another first-place victory, scoring 55-inch HD TVs. Phil asks them about giving the marrieds the U-turn. "There's sheep and there's wolves—we're wolves," Michael says. "Oww!" Louie howls. Dad and daughter snag second place for the second consecutive leg and the cowboys come in third.

The three teams in the back of the group are the Big Brother Lovers, the marrieds and the South Carolinas. The South Carolinas come in sixth, but because they went the wrong way—that is, not south—they accidentally skipped the clue after the detour, so they have to go back and retrieve it before they can officially check in. Luckily, the pair quickly finds the missing clue and rechecks in, earning sixth place. Despite the fumbles from the South Carolinas and the Big Brother Lovers, the U-turn ends up being the game-changer. The marrieds can't decode the message in time and get eliminated from the race. “My wife impressed me so much," Joe says. "She was always leading, helping, pushing me along. I had to depend on her for everything.” Heidi adds, “I have no problems walking away today being eliminated, just that I have Joe in my life. We had a great time.”

NEXT WEEK
Downside: Mr. and Miss South Carolina bicker again. Upside: There's a challenge involving Champagne!

Related Stories:
· The Amazing Race [Official Site]
· Amazing Race Coverage [Jaunted]

[Photos: CBS]