Jaunted

THE RACE
Racers must go to Valparaiso's bus station. There, the high-maintenance divas approach the marrieds to form an alliance. The relationship proves beneficial when the teams get out at Santiago's bus terminal and rush to buy tickets for the next leg of their trip to Puerto Varas. The marrieds are first in line and save a spot for the divas, pissing off the detectives. "You can't be holding spots, c'mon now," Michael says. To boot, the first direct bus only has four seats on it, leaving the rest of the teams with a bus that leaves an hour later. "That little bastard squeaked his way right in there," Louie says about Joe. "He’s a sneaker."

Not wanting to be stuck with a super-late bus, the cowboys enlist the help of an English-speaker, who advises them to take a bus to Temuco and transfer. This plan gets them in that night, while the direct buses get in the following morning. The Big Brother lovers and Mr. and Miss South Carolina figure out this method as well. Thing is, when arriving Temuco's bus station, the foursome doesn't realize that the transfer is at another terminal about 10 miles away. Shoulda read those connecting tickets a bit closer, guys. The foursome runs to make the cowboys' bus, which departs later but at the original Temuco terminal. But the foursome misses it and no more buses are available until 1 a.m.

The way-ahead cowboys go to the Petrohue Hotel. Then they hop on a boat to Isla Margarita, where their next clue awaits. It's a detour.

DETOUR
In this detour, teams choose between llama adoration (or, as Miss South Carolina says, "adore-tion") or condor consternation, animals revered by the locals. For llama, teams have to dress said animal with a scarf and blanket. For condor, racers must dress as birds—a two-person contraption with 16-foot wings—take flight and hit a target in the water that holds the next clue. The cowboys dub themselves the llama whisperers when they quickly doll up their animal. The marrieds are less successful; when Joe puts on the blanket, the llama swiftly kicks him in the leg.

Meanwhile, the cute bros have a hard time with the stick shift and get lost, with the triathletes gaining on them. Although the triathletes are in last place, grams is still optimistic and encourages her granddaughter, even revealing that of all of her grandkids, she admires this one the most. If grams doesn't win this race, we have a feeling she'll get the silent treatment from the family when she gets home.

The super moms quickly dress their llama, but the detectives have to use sticks to corral their animal. Grandma tries to serenade the llamas with an a cappella version of "La Cucaracha." Mr. and Miss South Carolina try something different and choose the condor challenge. They fall right into the freezing water but get a hold of their clue, which directs them to Onces Bellavista Farm.

ROADBLOCK
For the roadblock, teams have to collect the correct amount of ingredients for kuchen, a traditional dish made by the German community in the area. They have to get milk straight from the cow's udder, a baker's dozen eggs, a plate of butter, a bowl of sugar and a bag of flour. The cowboys easily complete the task.

It's not so easy for diva Carol. "This is not fun," she says. "Give me the nice hotel with the nice restaurants and the clean sheets." Did she think that The Amazing Race was a Club Med? Instead of clean sheets, Carol receives a kick in the hand from the cow. But poor grandma really gets it when a bovine kicks her in the noggin.

The detectives trail in last place because they drive right past the farm and into town. When they stumble on another team, they realize they have to backtrack about 20 miles and make like the roadrunner.

PIT STOP
Teams have to return to Puerto Varas for the pit stop, Gruta de la Virgen, a park. The cowboys lasso first place, each winning a sailboat. The marrieds come in second and the divas in third.

OUSTED
The detectives suffer a major setback when they get lost, but Michael really hustles to collect the ingredients on the farm and beats out grams. Damn that head-kicking cow. Although the triathletes are eliminated, the grandma-granddaughter pair remains positive. "What's the next crazy adventure?" Shannon asks grams.

NEXT WEEK
Looks like there's trouble in paradise, with the dating divas at each other's throats.

Related Stories:
· The Amazing Race [Official Site]
· Amazing Race Coverage [Jaunted]

[Photos: CBS]a