Jaunted

The first scent is the Shell perfume, which has a fragrance they describe as "classic with a hint of elegance and maturity." By "classic," we assume they mean "botoxed," and by "elegance and maturity," we assume they mean "sun damage." This is the perfume for Cancun cougars.

Then there's "Star," which they insist is a "favorite of the contemporary woman, who enjoys each of life's moments." It's always a little disconcerting when perfume manufacturers take their pitches out of the Barnes & Noble self-help section. The perfume "combines notes of lilies, carnations, rose, jasmine and ylang-ylang" and also, for some reason, a strong whiff of desperation.

The third fragrance is the "Seahorse" scent, targeted at the "youthful, sporty and uninhibited woman." This is your bachelorette party perfume. It comes in a needlessly-confusing Seahorse-shaped bottle. It would've been clearer and more appropriate if they made the bottle look like a tierra.

The last two scents are "Conch" and "Pink Conch," aimed at men and women respectively. The male fragrance is for the "modern, successful and determined male," by which we're assuming they mean frat boy douchebags. If it smells like anything other than Axe, then they've missed their target demo. The girls' fragrance is supposed to "mirror" the men's cologne and is for the "provocative" woman. Again we're assuming they mean Cancun-vacationing sorority girls. If glitter had a smell, this is probably what it would smell like.

Would buy any of the Cancun perfumes? Let us know in the comments!

[Photo: SeaJewels.com.mx]

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