SkyMall's Bacon Genie Makes Absolutely No Sense

July 30, 2009 at 4:11 PM | by Omri | Comments (2)

Wherein we engage in what the academics call "close reading," in a desperate and probably futile attempt to figure out what could possibly be going on with this SkyMall product. The setup is straight-forward enough: another piece of clutter to add to your counter top, performing a task that only seems relevant during the last 20 minutes of a blurry transcontinental red-eye. But then things begin going downhill:

Do you shy away from frying bacon because it leaves a greasy mess? Then you'll appreciate the Bacon Genie. It's the healthy way to cook bacon in the microwave. Simply drape up to twelve slices of bacon over the "hanger" and input the cook time. No monitoring is necessary so you can be preparing the eggs while the bacon is cooking. Even better, the grease gets collected in the dish below, so you won't have to drain or dab the cooked bacon on a paper towel. Easy pour spout lets you easily discard the collected grease, making clean-up a breeze!

First, and this is our most immediate and salient concern, are they really suggesting people should cook bacon in a microwave? Because the phrase "... cook bacon in the microwave..." kind of makes it seem like they're suggesting people should cook bacon in a microwave. We haven't had a chance to avail ourselves of those new chemistry-based cooking classes, but wouldn't that defeat the purpose of creating crispy bacon? In the sense that it would produce the precise opposite?

The only time you should be microwaving bacon is if you're a 9 year old making breakfast-in-bed for Mommy on Mother's Day. If you're old enough to own the credit card that's necessary for purchasing this contraption from SkyMall, not so much.

Now you might be saying to yourself "well fair enough, but what about the part where the Bacon Genie frees me up to prepare eggs while my bacon is cooking?" That's a very good question. If only someone would design a stove with multiple burners, so that you could cook your eggs in one frying pan while the bacon cooked in a different frying pan right next to it. Man, how awesome would that be?

The bacon genie sells for $7.99 but if you purchase two they'll cut the combined price to $14.49. With two Bacon Genies you can microwave up to twenty-four slices of bacon at the same time, presumably saving you that much more time to prepare eggs.

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· Bacon Coverage [Jaunted]

Comments (2)

Return to » SkyMall's Bacon Genie Makes Absolutely No Sense

if we're talking abt making eggs and bacon for a quick hangover breakfast. but its easy. you just plop 'em on some paper towels and cook it up in 2-3 minutes. and it does get kind of crispy.

the bigger question is: why the f*#& is SkyMall advertising a Bacon Genie?

Well, I guess for the same reason it sells Doggie Ramps to help your dog get into your bed faster...

I don't understand why you guys don't get this? Sure this allows you to prepare the eggs while the bacon is cooking, but think of it in this more real life scenario. You are making bacon on the stove with eggs on the burner next to it. The other two burners also have bacon, but you have them at a lower temp in order to have warm bacon later on (once you have finished the first batch). Let's say you have... 8 pieces of bacon in the pan that will finish first (and 12 more pieces in the other two). Also, you have an electric griddle plugged in nearby so you can cook more bacon. This griddle has like... 24 pieces of bacon on it. However, none of the bacon is done yet! Well, you have a microwave that can cook bacon faster so you can enjoy the bacon in 3 minutes! Some houses have two microwaves, so it makes sense to buy 2 of the Bacon Genies, so that way you can have 24 pieces of bacon before the skillet is done. At this point, you decide to forgo the eggs and bust out another skillet to make more bacon. Although, once you are done, you collect all of the bacon in the bacon tray, throw them in the skillet and deep fry the eggs when you are done. After which, you go take a nap and wait until the next bacon feast is to begin... somewhere in 3 hours.

Jaunted

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