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The Worst Beach Books To Pack This Year

Every American outlet worth its salt is putting out a list of books for best beach reading this week in preparation for the glorious holiday weekend ahead. And while we've never seen a bandwagon we didn't want to jump on and eventually drive, we wonder why no one is offering a warning label of what not to bring on your Fourth of July road or plane trip. Finally, a raison d'etre! If these are in your carry-on, beware:

Jonathan Miles, Dear American Airlines. The New York Times cocktail columnist's debut is uproariously funny, but takes place entirely in Chicago O'Hare Airport on a cross-country trip gone wrong. We're scared even to pick it up in the vicinity of our suitcase for fear we will be jinxed.

Alice Hoffman, The Story Sisters. Hoffman's Turtle Moon and Practical Magic have comingled with sunblock in our beach bag before, but after the author went off on Twitter on a critic who wrote a mildly negative review, we're going to read something that's free to dislike.

Norman Ollestad, Crazy For The Storm. This memoir debuted at #10 on the Times Best-seller List for its riveting true story of an 11-year-old who survived a plane crash in the San Gabriel Mountains, and we're looking forward to picking up when we have no plans to fly anywhere.

Emily Chenoweth, Hello Goodbye. Cosmopolitan put this novel about a girl on vacation with her brain-cancer mum on its Best Beach Books list, which means tears must be sexy this year. (See also: Every Jodi Picoult book. Have fun crying!)

Herman Melville, Moby-Dick. There's no reason why this book is specifically bad for this year, but we once read it while being eaten alive by mosquitoes in the Russian countryside, and we've never forgiven ol' Melville from failing to distract us for our welts.

Related Stories:
· Aspiring Hotelier Reading List: Chip Conley's Book "Peak" [HC]
· What We're Reading coverage [Jaunted]
· Literary Travel coverage [Jaunted]

[Photo: josephrobertson]