First, there are the parts where they try to be Down With The Kids. The word "Facebook" makes five appearances, once in a section about how you can use the Storm to blog on Facebook and MySpace (umm...?) YouTube and Flickr are also prominently featured. They even promise that you can use your Storm to "make them all jealous back home by sending photos." Presumably the Storm's target demo is "douchebag."
Then there's the pervasive condescension. The phrase "great for Joe Public" is actually #2 on the list. There's a series of reasons that explain the various people - your boss, your colleagues, and your children - who will respect you more if you buy the phone. We get the distinct impression that the ad guys were all sitting around a table and someone said "OK - but how do we make it relevant to Walmart shoppers?"
Listen. There seem to be plenty of reasons to like the Blackberry Storm, especially if you travel overseas for business. It seems to come loaded with international maps that are linked to the phone's built-in GPS. The keyboard takes advantage of the wonder of tactile feedback, or as it used to be known "buttons." It has an expansion slot. There are ways to differentiate it from the iPhone.
But playing up how the Storm not only has a timer but also a world clock and an alarm clock? You mean it has both of them? Really?! What now, Steve Jobs?
Marketers: please stop making us write these posts. We want to like you. It's springtime. Our hearts are warmed by the sweet songs of birds and buoyed by the dulcet nothings of lovers. By all means feel free to lie to us. But don't insult us.
· Cellphones coverage [Jaunted]
[Photo: JoeyPeter / Flickr]