If You Wear These Shoes, The Terrorists Have Already Won

April 14, 2009 at 2:41 PM | by Omri | Comments (4)

Originally this post was just going to be a picture of these monstrosities and the word "NO" underlined, bolded, and italicized. But during the editing process we realized that a post like that could come off as condescending or off-putting, and nothing could be farther from our intentions. So how about this:

Instead of wearing these things, in public or otherwise, how about you don't wear them?

How does that sound?

Only a very deep psycho-social genealogy - going from elementary school "Be Yourself!" signs, through Jerry Springer, and ending with reality TV - could explain how anyone could not care this much about looking this stupid in public. These things are like Crocs for people who lack fashion sense. Being your own person is one thing. But at some point personal comfort has to give way to not being utterly and aggressively ridiculous.

They're made of foam for fuck's sake. Foam with holes cut out of it. How is that even legal? Don't we have a Commerce Department? They should have stepped in and said "these are clearly defective, given how they're made of foam and have holes cut out of them."

As for the single review on the purchase page - which of course has the "not only is this an excellent product but also an excellent value" line that every uncreative marketing department inserts into every review - are you kidding:

I travel extensively and have never found a travel shoe to be as comfortable as this one. While I wish there were color choices (white certainly "pops" with a dark pair of pants), it looks right at home in Europe. With a decent pair of socks, it can even be worn in colder weather (40o F). The included footbed insert isn't particularly substantive but is easily replaced (and easily washed). Not only is the shoe an excellent product but also an excellent value.

If you're an American and you go to Europe in the winter and you walk around in these shoes and you're wearing socks underneath - we will find you and we will hurt you. You're the reason people hate us.

Related Stories:
· Travel Gear [Jaunted]
· Men's Voyager Shoe [Magellan's]

Comments (4)

Return to » If You Wear These Shoes, The Terrorists Have Already Won

if anyone sees a traveler in these "Voyager Shoes" you must take a picture. Reward will be offered...in the form of your very own Voyager shoes.

They're an improvement on Crocs, at least. Right? Maybe these are just as bad.

Confession...my father would SOOOO get these. He would think they're the coolest things ever. Mind you, he is Colombian born but living in the U.S. haha I think I may buy dad a pair

I don't know why you said "These things are like Crocs for people who lack fashion sense." CROCS are for people who lack fashion sense!! --Meliha

Jaunted

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