Among her thoughts on British beach towns: "They say that on a clear day you can see France from here, but they could say whatever the hell they want, because there's never a clear day here to check." Come on Holly. Don't beat around the bush. Tell us how you really feel. "The seaside is crap and dull ... even the people of Brighton have gone gay to find something to do."
And as for seaside cuisine:
"Bad ice cream, candy floss, jelly deals. Anything you can eat without using your teeth. Is this for the locals, who are so old that they lost their dentures during the Blitz, or is it for the tourists who are so lazy they're like 'sod it, I'm on holiday now, I can't even be bothered to chew'?"
Having been to Brighton a couple of times, I think I know what she's talking about, but can't say I don't also love the place in spite of the tackiness and bad weather. And isn't suffering through gloomy trips to the beach part of the British way of life? Eating the picnic lunch in the car while rain lashes down, only to walk on the gravelly beach between downpours?
I guess all travel involves suffering on some level. The difference is how much pleasure you can find to counterbalance it. Any British readers care to share their views on the kingdom's coastline? Island paradise, or "dirty old whore who smells of fish and tries to trick you out of all your loose change"? Please weigh in in the comments.