Jaunted

THE TEAMS
Teams include Margie and Luke, a mother and deaf son, lawyer siblings Tammy and Victor, brothers and stuntmen Michael and Mark, gay father and son Mel and Mike, dating couple Amanda and Kris, midwestern married couple Brad and Victoria, former NFL cheerleaders Jaime and Cara, sisters Kisha and Jen, married hillfolk Steve and Linda, flight attendants Christie and Jodi and the requisite dating couple on the brink of disaster, Preston and Jennifer.

THE RACE
The starting point for this season is Los Alamitos Joint Forces Training Base. Phil briefs the teams, and lets them know that eight of the Pit Stops will be eliminations, which leaves three episodes and the finale as non-elimination legs.

LOCARNO, SWITZERLAND
The first clue directs the racers to Locarno, Switzerland. Teams must take either a Lufthansa flight to Zurich or an Air France flight to Milan. Then, teams must catch trains to Locarno. Once in Locarno, they proceed on foot to the Church of San Antonio and sign the register to claim their morning departure times. Teams spend the night camping out in a very rustic looking park. Steve takes the rest period as an opportunity to browbeat his wife Linda about being slow, making her cry. Way to start the race, jerk!

ROADBLOCK
In the morning, the racers return to the church and receive a photograph directing them to their next destination: Verzasca Dam. One of the tallest dams in the world, one member of each team will have to bungee jump 70 stories from the rim. Almost all of the racers looked a little sick before jumping, and we would, too, that's 700 feet down!

KLEINE RUGEN WIESE
Teams must take the train to Interlaken and find Kleine Rugen Wiese. There, teams use traditional antique cheese racks, climb to the top of a hill to retrieve fifty pound wheels of cheese, transport them down the hill and stack them into a neat 200 pound pile. Sounds easy, right? Well, the hill is very steep and muddy, and the cheese racks appear to have the strength of balsa wood. Racks are breaking all over the place and large wheels of cheese are rolling downhill like runaway trains. It's a cheese calamity! Tempers are flaring, cheese is flying and mud is everywhere. Naturally, Steve is losing it all over Linda, who is, of course, crying. Look, Linda, boo-hoo all you want, just keep the cheese moving!

THE PIT STOP
Teams head to the town of Stechelberg, where they must listen for yodelers who will help lead them to the finish mat. In a thrilling first place finish, it's Margie and Luke, who win a seven day trip for two to the Westin Puerto Vallarta. Tammy and Victor come in second with Mark and Michael in third.

OUSTED
Preston and Jennifer are outrun by Christie and Jodi, and are eliminated. It must be tough to be the first to go, especially when you're a competitive jerk like Preston, but at least they have each other. And that's better than a million bucks, right? Right.

NEXT WEEK
The gang travels to Germany and Linda somehow gets lost in the Alps -- and cries. Margie and Luke hurl pies at each other, and we're left to wonder when those creepy roaming gnomes will show up.