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How Do I Hate Thee? Let Me Count the Ways

February 10, 2009 at 4:52 PM | by | Comments (2)

We can't stand Valentine's Day and we've actually had a Valentine for the past seven years. Really, this is just a holiday drummed up by Hershey's and Hallmark and the like to get you to spend money on their goods. But while they saw green in promoting anything red, they also ended up making lonely hearts feel a tad suicidal about their single "situation."

And god, the pressure to do "something nice" on V-day just makes us want to vomit. Shouldn't everyday be V-day? We think so.

But in case you don't want to watch a showing of "He's Just Not That Into You" or if you're down to meet some assuredly single chicks, here are some ways to tell the marketing firms at chocolate and greeting cards companies as well as anyone who's ever done you wrong in the name of love, to "F off."

· The Smash Shack in San Diego: Here you can "hurl anything breakable at a wall in a safe and comforting environment." So gather up all those picture frames of you and Mr. Wrong and smash 'em. [Sign On San Diego]

· 80s Love Song Sing Along in Boston: Nothing cures the pain of a broken heart like sing along of cheesy 80s love songs. We call "Total Eclipse of the Heart!" [Boston Globe]

· Ex-orcism Party in New York: The Village Pourhouse encourages you to bring a photo of your ex and post in on the dart board. If you hit the bulls-eye, you will get a free one-hour open bar. [CitySearch, 1st item]

· Naked Scavenger (Art) Hunt in Chicago: Just because you may not go home with somebody on V-Day, doesn't mean you can't look at bodies on V-day. The Art Institute of Chicago is hosting this unique scavenger hunt based on "paintings, sculptures, miniature period rooms, sultry sirens, feckless lovers, Greek muscle men, peeping toms, bedlam in bedrooms and the half-naked Truth."[Chicagoist]

· Send a Computer Virus: If you always hated that your ex was a PC person, now's your chance to exact revenge. Just kidding. Seriously, sending viruses are never cool. Unless that person slept with your best friend. [PC Mag]

[Photo: Slushpup]

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Doughnut Day

While others like to do "I HATE YOU" valentines day, my friends and I have found much better ways to celebrate February 14th: We introduced Doughnut Day. That is a day where I buy several dozen doughnuts and then give them out to people. I have done this for the past 8 years, starting out in high school, continuing through college and now bringing it to the workplace. In high school on Maui, only girls and couples would get to celebrate Valentines. Single girls would give each other little gifts like candy and and little gifts. Couples would go all out and be absolutely insane in what they purchased for the love of their life, usually to break up after a couple months. My brother and I would swing by Safeway and buy dozens of doughnuts and walk around to guys and give them out to those who had nothing, and to girls we'd make duct tape roses in wild colors. Since then, the duct tape roses have began to dwindle, but the doughnuts carry on. I still believe that few things make someone smile larger than a doughnut.
ddixonflight on February 10, 2009 at 7:26 PM #Permalink

re: Doughnut Day

Where were you when I was in high school?!
egw on February 11, 2009 at 3:58 PM #Permalink
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