Jaunted

Delta SkyMiles:
If we ever get home we're going to want to relax with a glass of something stronger than onboard swill. Luckily our Waring Pro Wine Chiller (24,300 miles) with its truly decadent 33 settings for different kinds of wine has us covered. Now if only we had a cooling machine for our food...

Continental OnePass:
The Houston-based carrier has a (relatively) eye-catching auction site where you can bid on various "packages" of fun and entertainment, all more interesting than their merchandise offerings. We'd love to see Hiromi Uehara play at Carnegie Hall (currently 5,500 miles) or investigate just what "ring side" seats for the Thanksgiving Day Parade in New York would entail (currently 76,500 miles). But for wish fulfillment there's nothing like Giants Football Fantasy Day a relative bargain at 11,500 miles, in which lucky buyers can visit the team practice facility, knock around on the field and eat dinner there. For non-fans, simply repeat the phrase "A friendly game of two-hand touch led by Giants players" until it is funny.

United Mileage Plus:
United being Chicago-based and all, one of their offers is a rewards gift certificates to a Chicago-based restaurant group called Lettuce Entertain You—usable only by the stranded, perhaps? They were also the only airline that put their rewards catalogue behind a login wall, forcing us to dig around for our Mileage Plus number. When we saw it, we knew why: It's a zany goldmine, from a "personal massager" (7,800 miles) to a laser golf range finder (40,500 miles) and even a digital mini-grand piano (1,433,200 miles). But this Baccarat crystal "Wall Street bull" (139,100 miles) really speaks for itself, and what it says is "I am an enormous douche who probably caused the housing crisis."

American AAdvantage and US Airways' Divident Miles:
The blandest of the bunch, offering nothing more stirring than dirt-cheap magazine subscriptions.

But the real shocker came as it appears that Southwest, working tirelessly to promote itself as the fun airline, will only let us redeem miles for actual trips through its Rapid Rewards program. Where is the choice? The freedom? And if any airline was likely to offer a branded Snuggie, it would have been them.

Since it's the holidays, we'll also note that all the carriers we surveyed offered the chance to donate your miles to charity, a gift that may not last as long as a crystal bull but could make much more of a difference.

Related Stories:
· Southwest Hopes To Fill Seats By Offering Double Rewards Credits [Jaunted]
· One Last Chance To Go Platinum [Jaunted]
· Mileage Programs coverage [Jaunted]

[Photo: Baccarat.neimanmarcus.com]