Jaunted

But there's a morality clause Chuck doesn't know about, so Jack conspires to get Chuck out on the town with some lovely ladies and "accidentally" presents him to the Bass board the morning after. In doing so, Chuck breaks a date with Blair, who is working overtime so he doesn't find out she slept with Uncle Jack last week.

Meanwhile, Lily and Rufus are in Boston to try and meet with their son's adoptive family, and Dan labors mightily to make sure Serena doesn't find out--something Blair's former minions just won't have. They know he has a secret, so they go through his locker and accost him when he's shopping with Vanessa for candy at Dylan's Candy Bar on the east side (recommended!), but when the formerly disgraced Nelly Yuki steals his phone, they find out--and GG broadcasts--the real reason Dan's being so shady. Still, Serena and Dan decide to stay together because of "Clueless." Remember how Cher and Josh got together in the end even though he was her ex-stepbrother? Just like them, S. and D. don't share any DNA that we know of.

Oh yeah, and the kid? The adoptive father tells Lily and Rufus he drowned in a boating accident, then--in a last-minute reversal even we didn't see coming--reveals that that was his other kid, and Young Master Van Der Hump is still out there somewhere. (They didn't want to tell the visiting team for fear they would be sued out of a son. What?!) Now casting: Lonelyboy II?

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