Jaunted

THE TEAMS:
This next tiny bit should help you keep up until a few teams get weeded-out. This season, the teams include Toni and Dallas, a mother-and-son team from Northern California. She raised him alone, and he's turned into a hunky, beefy athlete who loves his mama. Brother and sister duo Nick and Starr are clad in camouflage and appear to be ready to kick butt!

Separated couple Ken and Tina are hoping that competing together on the race will help repair their damaged marriage. Yes, reality television really is a salve... it can fix anything! Long-distance daters Aja and Ty are convinced that the distance between them makes them better competitors--we think it's a recipe for disaster.

The southern belles, Marisa and Brooke, wear matching hot pink track suits and profess their love of pearls and cupcakes, y'all! Andrew and Dan are more the Revenge of the Nerds type fraternity brothers, only less entertaining. Eternal daters Anthony and Stephanie are hoping to win the big prize. She wants to get married and have kids, and we're betting he just wants half of the money.

Beekeepers Anita and Arthur are dressed in tie-dye, and cover two important Amazing Race demos: They're hippies AND they're old! Kelly and Christy are friends and both recently divorced. They are using the race as an opportunity to leave the past behind and exact revenge on their exes. (OK, we might've made up that last part, but looking hot on national TV is awesome revenge, right?!)

Mark and Bill are lifelong friends and comic book geeks. They seems to have some of the energy BJ and Tyler from AR-11, but none of the charisma. Finally, there's Terence and Sarah, a dating couple from NYC. She's a Wall Street success story and he... teaches jogging. Sarah says he's low key. We think he's anything but...you decide. Can these teams stand up to the stress of traveling the globe for over 33,000 miles? We sure hope not, or this will get real boring, real fast!

THE RACE:
The historic Los Angeles Coliseum is the starting point for the race. This is the only venue to ever host two sets of Olympic Games, most recently in 1984. The racers set off to find their first clues waiting on top of their bags. The teams must head to LAX to catch one of two flights to Salvador, Brazil. Naturally, the sadistic producers of AR love to start things off in the congested and confusing streets of LA. Teams jockey needlessly on their way to the airport--like they're not going to get all bunched up at the ticket counter, anyway--which is exactly what happens, of course.

In Salvador, teams must take a taxi to O Rei Do Pernil to receive their next clue. Teams must select a traditional local vending cart and wheel it through the narrow streets and deliver it to a coffee vendor named Indio in the Praca Da Se. The carts are narrow, rickety and clunky to move. Merchandise falls off easily, and the journey includes a trip up the funicular, or inclined railway.

Teams run into some minor challenges, but manage to get organized quickly. Tina takes this and every opportunity to browbeat Ken. Is it any wonder he strayed? She certainly isn't going to let him--or us--forget it!

Once teams have made their deliveries to Indio, they must make their way by taxi to Batalhao de Cacadores, a military base where the teams will spend the night outdoors sleeping in mosquito nets. Teams must sign-in to receive one of three departure times the next morning: 9:00, 9:30 or 9:45. During the evening, Starr ditches her brother Nick and takes the opportunity to chat up the muscular and shirtless Dallas. Will we be seeing more sparks and less clothing in future episodes?

In the morning, teams must take taxis to Pelourinho in the historic center of Salvador. There, they must find the next clue which reveals the Detour. In this Detour, teams select between Hard Way Up or Soft Way Down.

In Hard Way Up, teams must head to a church, Escadaria do Passo, and climb a stone staircase on their hands and knees. Upon reaching the top, they must answer a question correctly to receive the next clue. If they do not answer correctly--they have to start over!

In Soft Way Down, teams must make their way to Elevador Lacerda, an outdoor elevator shaft, and climb down 240 feet of cargo net.

Nick and Starr make a beeline to the elevator, as do most of the teams. They manage to scurry like monkeys down the cargo net and into the lead. Ken and Tina are not far behind as the two teams set off for the Pit Stop. Back at the elevator shaft, Terence is bitching to Sarah about everything, and we know this is only going to get better in the coming weeks--assuming they get their act together and don't finish last!

Over at the church, Andrew and Dan are climbing the stairs, but don't know the answer to the question, "How many stairs did you climb?" D'oh! So, it's back to the bottom for them. They redo the challenge and answer correctly the second time. (It's 53 steps, in case you were wondering.)

THE PIT STOP:
Forte Sao Marcelo is a floating battlement in the harbor of Salvador. It once secured the area from invaders and pirates, but today marks the very first elimination point for this season. Nick and Starr arrive first and win a trip for two to Belize. We've said it before: There's nothing like a romantic getaway with your sister. Ken and Tina arrive in second, with Terence and Sarah whining their way into third.

OUSTED:
Oh No! It's the Beekeeping Hippies! We're a little bit sad thinking of all the hippie-hilarity we probably missed as a result of this early elimination. Look, it's never fun or glamorous to be the first to get the boot, but they do get sequestered in luxury accommodations for the duration of the filming period. Think of all the time they'll have for macrame and tie-dying!!

NEXT WEEK:
Race fans, the first few episodes are always a big hot mess! It's all about too many teams and not enough time to learn their names before they are gone. Remember when the season premiere was two hours? Yeah, good times.

Anyhoo, definitely tune in next week if you wanna see Terence get bent about every little thing, including but not limited to: Alliances between other teams, Sarah talking, Sarah thinking and Sarah existing...

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