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Gossip Girl Travel: Sound The Trumpets, Strumpets!

September 23, 2008 at 9:30 AM | 0 Comments

Open up "The Ex-Files" with our Gossip Girl Map.

Previously: Nate became a gigolo for his family and Vanessa wanted out; Blair challenged Marcus to put up or shut up, and Serena and Dan broke up again. (How did Gossip Girl get that picture from inside the elevator? Man, she is creepy.)

Senior year! So who wants to go back less: Serena and Dan, fresh from their breakup? Jenny, who knows she'll be the victim of Blair's posse, because every girl is either a project or a victim? Or Erik, whose problems everyone seems to have forgotten about?

But it's the kid who doesn't go to school who ultimately has the worst day ever. When Catherine the Duchess tries to buy off Vanessa, she goes to her house (located at 613 E. 71st Street, comfortably in the East River) and gets an eyeful:

Yup, that's Marcus and the Duchess, "before kickoff" as V. puts it to Dan. Dan gets her to go to Blair, who sets about enacting her revenge by laying down a deal at brunch with Marcus at Centolire to buy her silence for Nate. (Marcus' defense: "It's only happened a few times." But Vanessa throws the whole thing into chaos by going straight to Catherine's husband, the Duke. Clearly not an Upper East Sider!

Meanwhile, Serena and Dan's promise to be friends is tossed out like last summer's trendy monokini when a new girl, Amanda, shows interest in him. "The point is," Blair tells Serena, "whoever dates first, wins." Blair and her posse wage war on her on Serena's behalf at Meatpacking District steakhouse STK, including throwing Nair at the back of her head. (Does that really work? Somebody let us know.) Ultimately, S. is ready to wreak her own havoc and become top bitch at Constance Billard once again.

But wait, Amanda was paid off by Chuck (shown in a Suit of Awesome) to act interested in Dan so that Serena would be restored to the social throne! She doesn't even go to this school--she just has a lot of feelings! Or rather, none. "From now on," Serena breathes to her henchladies, "everything goes through me." You go, Serena. As Chuck says over breakfast: "You're here to rule. Why fight it?"

Also, Lily Bass is back from her honeymoon and tries to be friends with Rufus again by bringing over... "Pretty in Pink"? Maybe she should be taking lessons from her daughter, because Rufus ain't having it.

Till next week... we'll be watching you. With sticks.

Related Stories:
· Last Week's Episode of "Gossip Girl": No Love in an Elevator [Jaunted]
· Two Weeks Ago: There's No We In Summer" [Jaunted]

Where: New York, NY, United States

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Author Photo: egw by egw

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