Jaunted

Gossip Girl

I'll Hold Back Your Hair

December 9, 2008 at 9:15 AM | 3 Comments

Previously: Bart was rushing to reclaim his wifey at the ball, where Blair and Chuck were concluding again that they can't be together and Serena and Dan were reminiscing about their first night together. Lily had just decided to leave him when...

We all mourn in our own ways. While Bart Bass, who had "more towers than Trump, more bucks than Bloomberg," merited both the front page of the New York Journal and the news box on Gossip Girl, he apparently didn't rate a tearful hospital scene. Instead, we dip into the Upper East Side apartments where the grieving is being done, in whatever forms it takes. Lily's mom CeCe is drinking gin with breakfast, Blair is actually eating something (bagels and lox with Cyrus, specifically) and Lily is running a zillion errands, including sneaking off into the park to meet Rufus. "I'm waiting for you this time," Rufus says. "Six months, six years, I'll be here."

And a super-wasted Chuck meets with the private investigator who, if he was in the accident with Bart, escaped with nary a scratch. He's angry at Lily, because "Bitch is the reason my father is dead," but the PI still has one secret left to sell about Lily and the hospital--and before he died, Bart left her a voicemail confirming that he knew.

At the funeral, Dan and Aaron decide to compete over who's better for Serena. Jenny shows up to support Eric (his ex-boyfriend shows later), and Nate shows up to literally support Chuck, who is drunk and throws Dan out and yells at Lily, "Don't touch me, whore."

We don't see the actual funeral, but at the wake, Cyrus decides he can't wait any longer to marry Eleanor (and Jenny happens to be around in time to offer to make a suit for a ceremony the night after). Aaron buys Serena a ticket to Buenos Aires for Christmas but she's not sure she wants to go. (Look, no one turns down a free trip to Argentina. We'd even go with Creepy Aaron.) And Lily slaps Chuck after he says Bart's blood is on her hands.

Before the wedding, Dan finally gets up the nerve to ask Serena not to go to Argentina with her boyfriend, but it's too late--and Serena already knows that Lily's in love with Rufus and feels they deserve to be together. And in this ceremony, there are no surprises... except the presence of this bridesmaid:

DOROTA!!!! Is there anything she can't do?

After brushing off Blair's plea that she loves him, Chuck won the bidding war for Lily's secret after CeCe refused to bid. Lily comes to confront Chuck about it and beg him not to damage her last chance at happiness.

At long last, he decides to burn the report. Thank goodness there are copies somewhere. And... finally! He goes to Blair, not because he's drunk or because someone else has her, but because he knows she truly loves him. But he doesn't stay, for that is the Way of the Chuck.

CeCe goes to see Rufus in Brooklyn and tells him "the real problem" is that Lily needs to tell him the secret before they can be happy. Once he finds out, he tells Dan, "I will never be with Lily." Rufus even goes to meet her in Grand Central Station to say to her, "Just tell me one thing. Is it a boy or a girl?"

We too are in mourning, for this is likely the last new "Gossip Girl" before 2009. Till then, we'll be whipping up some things for our couture lines and looking for Chuck's burlesque club. You know you love us... XOXO, Jaunted.

One-Liners of the Week:

"Nobody's comforted by a tuna tower!" - Lily

"You think I care about your failed attempt at investigative journalism?" - Chuck, to Dan

"I've just spent too much time with Cyrus and I'm turning Jewish." - Blair, on why she feels the need to comfort Chuck

"So I guess the first time we'll sleep together will be on an airplane." - Creepy Aaron (who else?)

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· Two Weeks Ago: You Have A Family That Fights For You [Jaunted]
· Gossip Girl Map [Jaunted]