Jaunted

Brody comes over to the Chatheau to talk Lauren down, and in classic Brody fashion he opens with,

I have something to talk about. Why are you banging JustinBobby? That's the craziest shit I ever heard in my entire life.

The Broham advises her to "just go about [her] life" and be happy that Audrina isn't around any more if she would act like that. "Some change for bad," he says, practically stroking his chin thoughtfully, "some change for good." Where is the Brody Jenner Bromance MTV series?! We're in a recession here!

Later, Whitney tries to distract her with her romantic adventures with a boy in New York who "puts 'xo's on the end of every text." Hey, if you've read this far, how about a virtual Jaunted Easter Egg? We hear Whitney's new show "The City" will be taping Thursday, December 4, at The Cutting Room (19 W. 24th St.), where her love interest Jay's band is playing. Get your $12 tickets here for the 10 pm show, or if you're not sure, listen to the band first. Now don't say we never did anything for you!

Audrina seeks solace in sister Casey who's at her apartment flipping through a bookazine called "The Most Romantic Rooms." That won't bring back El Hombre de los Sombreros! Casey thinks she should apologize, even though Audrina feels awkward about it. Have we mentioned this week that we love Casey? She's got Audrina's mesmerizing teeth with a snark topping.

Anyway, Lauren and Audrina finally have their Appomattox at Bond Street and hash it out. Lauren's all, "That's just a crazy person telling a crazy story!" and Audrina's all, "But when someone says, 'I swear...'" Miss Partridge finally says she's sorry, but Lauren is still wary because Audrina doesn't trust her... and because it's still all about JustinBobby. And surprise, Audrina isn't really that happy with him. But in the end...

These girls have to stop wearing eyeliner when they go out. Seriously, what a waste.

Meanwhile in Spencerville, Spencer (whose slightly different facial hair suggests he has been reading criticism of himself on the Internet) invited Stephanie to come to Huntington Beach with him and Heidi to visit their Nana... and then guilt-tripped her into going in the middle of the week despite school and work. Naturally, The Spence acts like a total underminer the whole trip, joking about how Stephanie doesn't love "Queen Nana" and how much of a stranger she is to the family. He even summarizes the entire Lauren-Heidi-Stephanie spat, which... do grandmas really care about this stuff? We've got a phone call to make!

Nana tells Stephanie to rely more on her older brother because siblings are forevs, great advice that Spencer subsequently ruins by putting on his Serious Face. At least the trip unearthed a priceless artifact (besides Nana):

The next day, Nana and Stephanie go for a walk in Santa Monica to have some girl chat... or for Nana to hint that Spencer is trying to keep Stephanie away from her. "I just think that he really wouldn't be your favorite if you really knew him," Stephanie says pointedly. Nana tells her that the Spence just has to grow up. Ha! We like her!

"Life is sometimes a bucket of worms and you don't know what to do about them."

Next week: Whitney flies to New York for a job interview we all saw coming; Stephanie gets back together with that dude Spencer doesn't like and... hmm. Lauren gets upset about something? That's new and different.

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