Jaunted

The Language:
Fortunately, tapping into this blur is a lot easier on an outsider than in other places. The charm of this town comes from its casual attitude toward the bizarre. It's a place where the inexplicable is served up hot and fresh daily. I've never found anywhere else I've felt more at home while completely out of my depth and possibly out of my head.

While a copy of the Lonely Planet Guide to Japan is the de rigeur bookend for every English teacher and temporary resident in Japan--and I've managed to accumulate three of them in my time here--I've always had more luck with hitting the bars and pumping the locals for info on a good time.

Now the average Japanese citizen's mastery of English is about as good as my high school French but that doesn't necessarily doom the monolingual. There are a fair amount of establishments that cater to foreign-born English speakers and the natives who like hanging with such disreputable characters. These oases of English chatter are a valuable source of directions, advice and gossip and I'll point out a few of better ones later this week.

The Background:
Osaka sits at the center of the Kansai region that also includes Kyoto, Kobe and Nara making it an ideal hub for exploring the area's mix of the ultramodern, the traditional and cheap thrills. A remarkably thorough train system ties it all together, putting everything on your Must See checklist within the range of day trips. I'll be recommending places with little regard for what city or prefecture they're officially in because it doesn't really matter.

There's a point in every English language writeup about Osaka where the writer mentions that there's a word associated with Osaka that means to "eat and drink oneself to ruin." As I've never actually heard anyone use this term outside of a travel guide, I've never wasted my time to look it up. Still, it's true that Osaka is the place to indulge in more, more and more. The food is great and cheap, downtown parties seven nights a week and the booze flows faster than the city's filthy rivers. In Osaka excess is exactly the right amount.

Some Tips:
· Don't be intimidated by the language. Its like what they tell you about bears: They're just as afraid of you as you are of them. Buy a decent phrase book and learn the basics like hellos, goodbyes, food, drink and toilet and you'll be just fine. Just make an effort. Every single word of Japanese you learn will double your enjoyment and open more and more doors to seeing the real Japan.

· From mid-May to the end of September, the heat is a very physical presence that will reduce your energy and operating brain power to a rather basic level. You will sweat like it's an Olympic sport. Plan accordingly.

· Trains will take you anywhere but they stop running at around midnight. Luckily, Osaka has so many taxis everywhere it doesn't matter.

· When not on the train, people ride bikes. It's not even a big thing to ride around town on a one speed with a basket and a banana seat, tough guy. See if your hotel can rent you one or ask around and see if someone has a spare to loan out.

· The unwritten rules state that you can't get arrested for drinking or peeing in public, especially if you're already drunk.

· Addresses are nearly useless. Streets shift, twist and dead end randomly and all but the main thoroughfares remain officially nameless. If a street's name ends in "dori," it runs east-west; if it ends with "suji," it goes north-south. To find a place, figure out the nearest train station or major landmark and get directions from there. Account for some wandering around time.

· That Jennifer Jason Leigh flick Death Ride to Osaka is not the most accurate source of info. There are few places in the world where its safer to wander the streets aimlessly at night. So get to it.

Related Stories:
· Embedded Travel Guides coverage [Jaunted]
· Osaka Travel coverage [Jaunted]
· Osaka Hotels [HotelChatter]

Where: Osaka, Japan

Tags: Embedded Travel Guides / Japan Travel / Osaka Travel Guide / Osaka-Embed-Map

by Judson