Jaunted

Many an optimistic young woman, weary of the lackluster romantic conventions and bumbling would-be paramours of her home country, has come to Argentina with high hopes of taking a Latin lover. Preferably, of course, the tall dark and handsome sort who whispers sweet nothings in foreign tongues, reads poetry, adores his mother, and whips up spicy sauces that he urges you to sample as you stand in the cozy kitchen of his charming urban abode. A word to the wise, ladies, and I'm speaking from experience here: handsome and passionate they may be, and their beautiful eyelashes you may covet, but the prototypical Porteño male is hardly a gentle Romeo hiding a bouquet of daffodils behind his back. No, in fact, he's an übermasculine creature who travels with a pack and gobbles red meat - not to put too fine a point on it, friends, but remind you of anything in particular?

Oh, of course we're not talking about Neanderthals here; most of the guys you'll meet in BA are well-educated individuals who trade stocks or make films or go to law school during the day. But there seems to be something in their psychological make-up that makes them chase pretty young things for leisure. This can seem a bit shocking when you're coming from the United States, where the currently acceptable method of letting someone know you're interested is to ignore him or her, avoiding eye contact and refraining at all costs from the use of questions like 'so, you come here often?'

In Buenos Aires, apparently, there's no inappropriate manner or time to express physical attraction. Exhibit A: You are walking down a sunny sidewalk when you see a lone figure coming towards you. He stares until your paths are nearly intersecting, at which moment he purrs one of two things right into your ear: 'hermosa' or 'sos linda, que linda sos' -- in other words, 'pretty.' Uh, thanks, buddy.

Sounds harmless enough, you say? Wait until the lights dim and they congregate for Exhibit B, 'After Office', a happy hour-like Wednesday night testosterone-fest spread across a number of venues where men outnumber women about five to one. Throwing back Caipirinhas, Coronas, and Fernet, they stand around in suits and ties, scanning the crowd for babes and shouting out lines like 'where you from?' Of course it's hard to feel like one of these guys is really interested in your cultural heritage when he's trying to pull you closer while making sure his friends are watching.

If you make it to Exhibit C, actually dating an Argentine, well, that's a whole other ball game, but here's one caveat: I hope you're ready to get busy with your new beau on the subway and outside his office building, pretty much anywhere. Making out in front of the elderly couple having coffee at the next table? All in a day's work for the impulsive, insatiable, manners-be-damned Argentine alpha male. They're lovers not fighters, girls, but it's high time some long-held myths be shattered. Coming to Argentina prepared eases the disappointment you feel when you find out that your Latin lover, far from writing poetry, has never even heard of Pablo Neruda.

Related Stories:
· Buenos Aires Tour [Jaunted]
· Buenos Aires Hotel Guide [HotelChatter]

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[Photos: Liz Gleeson & Chris Wehling]