Jaunted

Eric Misses Jeremy

Leg 1:
As teams set off from Zanzibar, the Guidos are 16 hours behind Charla and Mirna--the first pair to depart for Warsaw, Poland. Schmirnas decide to wait for Oswald and Danny--a team that's looking for joint ventures not alliances. (Good thinking, boys.) Uchenna and Joyce wait for ticket agents to arrive at a South African Airlines office, while other teams go directly to a travel agent. When Uchenna calls that office, Dustin gets the agent to hang up on him.

As some teams struggle with booking, Team Beauty gets tickets via Addis Ababa then Frankfurt to Warsaw. Uchenna and Joyce get a similarly long itinerary, but should meet up with Dustin and Kandice in Frankfurt. Eric--looking like he really misses Jeremy--and Danielle--in her hot pink cat suit--and the Guidos are in the back of the pack. They're cutting it so close that they miss their flight. Just when it looked like they could make up a huge time differential, they were stuck at the airport.

Dustin and Kandice are the first on the ground in Warsaw, followed closely by Oswald and Danny and Charla and Mirna. While Danny and Oswald have no trouble gettting around, Mirna and Charla struggle. Mirna asks her cab driver if he likes Polish Sausage. Minutes later Mirna realizes, "Nobody wants to talk to use. It's like we're the plague or something." You're right--it is like that!

This week's detour is Perfect Pitch or Perfect Angle. That'd be a choice between tuning pianos or hauling and x-raying mannequins. (Yes, you read that right.) The front four teams go for the piano tuning, but only the Beauty Queens have an easy go at it, thanks to Dustin's music background.

DuKa then head to a park where they meet Phil and his mat. They're the first on this leg, winning a trip to a resort in Puerto Rico in the process. Mirna and Charla gripe like a bunch of babies during their mannequin carry, but end up coming in fourth, rounding out the front-of-the-pack teams. Joe, Bill, Eric and Danielle still haven't even made it to Warsaw.

When they arrive, it's a race to the bottom. Eric and Danielle finish their piano tuning, thinking they've knocked the Guidos out. But Phil spares Joe and Bill and marks the team for elimination instead. They need to finish first in the next leg to avoid a penalty.

Leg 2:
Dustin and Kandice are the first to leave, and they're the first to discover that this leg will take teams to Auschwitz-Birkenau. Though they left at 1 in the morning, they have to wait 12 hours before the first chartered bus leaves. (The producers seem to be doing quite a bit to keep the back of the pack in the race.)

Eric and Danielle are back to their old bickering, this time talking about whether they can afford cups of "kawfee." We love the Staten Island accent, babe! But why is no one surprised that the last place Guidos are still in the competition?

The race gets surprisingly classy at Auschwitz. All the teams pay respects, as the producers remind us about the persecution that unfolded at Europe's most brutal concentration camp. (In its own depressing way, this is among the best moments in Amazing Race history.)

The next stop for the race is Krakow--where Phil forces an Intersection on the teams. As the two leading teams, Uchenna and Joyce pair up with Oswald and Danny. That strands DuKa at the Intersection marker, waiting for the other teams--now four hours behind them--to arrive. Ouch!

The first set decides to play the Fast Forward, counting the stairs in the Fire Guard Tower at St. Mary's Church and Town Hall Tower. It's the perfect chance for the four to build a nice lead. After nailing the number of steps, the teams go to this week's Pit Stop: Pieskowa Skala Castle. ChaChaCha gives up their shot at a prize before Phil reveals it's a trip to St. Lucia. Oswald's happy to give it away, but he "won't be giving up a million dollars!"

Back on the race course, Dustin and Kandice decide to pair up with Charla and Mirna, even though they'd rather not. They head for a detour: Eat it Up or Roll it Out. Eat it up means making a sausage, then eating two feet of same. Roll it Out means baking bagels then delivering them. Getting busy with the meat keeps the girls entertained, while Eric, Danielle, Joe and Bill struggle to find their bagel shop.

Eventually, they give up and go for sausage, too. (It's no cow lips, we're sad to say.) The whole contest is tame until Kandice holds Charla's hair back while she sticks a knife down her throat to pull the trigger. What were we saying about classy?

After the sausage, teams have to drive themselves to the Pit Stop. The Guidos are still facing that 30 minute penalty, but "The one thing we know is that Mirna can't drive." In fact, she can't even get a cab driver to lead her to castle in Skala, where a Road Block awaits: After dressing up like a knight, teams have to guide a horse to the castle before checking in with Phil. Despite Charla's best efforts--falling on her face, getting screamed at by Mirna--it's the Guidos, and their penalty, that get sent packing.

The Pit Stop:
You must be kidding. After all that recapping, you want us to speculate on next week's story lines? Actually, we do have some thoughts: Obviously, Charla and Mirna will act up and yell at locals with bad accents. (Bonus "We hate you" points to the girls for saying "Si" to a Polish cab driver.) With Team Guido out, things are looking dangerous for Eric and Danielle, while Dustin and Kandice are racing as strong as ever.

Next Week:
Charla and Mirna irritate us. Eric and Danielle get pissed about it. And Oswald and Danny argue with each other while Danny wears his newsboy hat. In other words, more of the same!

Story Credits: Todd & pbb