Jaunted

Before teams take off to Marshall Glacier, a few words about the recently departed team: "The other teams were very happy that we were the ones to beat Rob and Amber and kick them out of this Amazing Race," Charla says. Sure they were, honey. Ian chimes in to add, "It's more of a head game than in the last race." That may not be any longer now that Rob is out of the game.

While other teams make fleeting reference to the cold in Patagonia, only Charla and Mirna complain about it. In the meantime, Ian and the Guidos talk about underwear and thongs. It's just as bad as it sounds.

At the glacier, the blondes prove that maybe they aren't the total package by forgetting to pick up their avalanche beacon, needed to find their next clue. This gives Mirna a chance to call them stupid. Better stupid than annoying, M!

All the thong talk seems to get the Guidos charged up, as they knock out the challenge in no time. They find out that the next stop for the race is Maputo, Mozambique. "Is that Africa?" Joyce asks when she finds her clue. Uchenna tells her it is, then reminds us his father is from Nigeria. Uh... How did Joyce not know that?

The Guidos waste no time getting to a travel agency before most of the other pairs are done digging on the glacier. Oswald and Danny are the last ones off the mountain, riding with a mohawk-wearing taxi driver Os calls "Last of the Mohicans." All the teams hop to the airport to catch their flights--everyone's on the same plane. Before getting on board, Team Guido stops at the duty free: "There's nothing like a quick shower with Gio," Bill says. "I smell like a French whore, but doesn't matter to me."

After three connections, the teams get to Maputo, and head with drivers outside of town to Apopo Training Field for this week's roadblock: finding deactivated land mines with rats. (Note to producers: Seriously? Rats digging up land mines?) Uchenna finds the task "interesting;" we found it "boring". The Guidos continue their dominance, finishing their mine hunt and heading to Praça do Trabalhadores. (Note to racers: it's pronounced "prassa" not "praca".) Charla and Mirna are the last team searching, and--guess what!--they start freaking out.

The rest of the teams head back to Maputo for a Detour: Pamper or Porter. They'll be either polishing nails in the Central Market or carrying bags of coal through the streets. Who gets the first nail job? A local Charla and Mirna corralled into helping them. The two keep wandering the market, being loud and speaking with their terrible accents. Ladies, they speak Portuguese in Mozambique, not Spanish.

The teams packing coal thought they'd have it easy, but they get slowed down by the sheer amount of physical work it requires. Teri and Ian catch a break by going to the wrong market, as it turns out nail painting is super easy. Eric and Danielle are stuck at the back of the pack with Uchenna and Joyce, looking to deliver their bags of coal. After Danielle enlists some local kids, they squeak out a small lead.

Having done some nails, Charla and Mirna head to this week's pit stop: Fortaleza. The girls make it there first, screaming like they've won the whole race. Oswald and Danny--filthy from coal hauling--chase Phil around the pit stop, but they can't catch the speedy Kiwi. Uchenna and Joyce come in last, but are spared--it's a non-elimination leg this week. They are now marked for elimination, meaning they have to finish first next week or incur a 30-minute penalty.

The Pit Stop:
First Place: Charla and Mirna, winning a trip to Aruba
Second Place: Dustin and Kandice
Third Place: Teri and Ian

Hey, we're not going to pretend to be happy about Charla and Mirna's win--if we hear one more poorly pronounced Spanish phrase, we may stop watching. Teri and Ian are looking stronger by the week, and their casual alliance with Oswald and Danny could be helpful. Points to the beauty queens for wearing shirts that say "World Peace" on them. Do you think they're in on the joke? We're upset that the teams won't be headed to Antartica--Ushuaia is the normal jumping-off point for trips down south.

Next Week:
Uchenna has trouble at a road block. And Eric and Danielle get tossed off a flight--one too many jokes about boobs?

Story Credits: Todd & pbb