Jaunted

The racers are off to the Netherlands. Teams must fly to Amsterdam, travel by train to the central station and then search the nearby canals for a bridge with a clue box. On the way to the airport in Shannon, Grandpa Don manages to drive 10 mph below the speed limit and still gets a flat tire! Is there any mishap this man can't find?

At the airport, the jockeying begins. Everyone can get on the flight from Shannon to Dublin, but not everyone will get on the first flight from Dublin to Amsterdam. Nathan and Jennifer gain some ground because their ticket agent has mad typing skillz, and manages to snag them the last pair of seats, forcing Nick and Gramps to go standby for Amsterdam.

Now, the number one rule when traveling is to be nice to the ground personnel, in fact, be nice to all personnel, but Nick and Gramps throw travel diplomacy to the wind and get all pushy in the standby line. Clearly, the ticket agent thinks they're rude, and so does Ron, who takes a moment to school Nick on being polite. Apparently, Ron has appointed himself as the manners police and will be issuing citations all season long. Amazingly, it's Nick and Gramps who luck into the standby tickets and make the first flight to Amsterdam.

Once the teams get to Amsterdam, they are rewarded with a Detour: Hoist It or Hunt It. In Hoist It teams must hoist five pieces of furniture into a traditional house along the canal. The hoisting requires some sort of advanced degree in knot tying, while in Hunt It teams have to find bicycles that match their clue in what has to be the bike parking lot from Hell, and then ride it 5 miles to get their next clue.

Kynt and Vyxsin waste no time and get to hoisting. Vyxsin is an expert at macrame, and she makes short work of the many complicated knots needed to safely hoist all that furniture up in the air. One door down, Jennifer is yelling at Nathan, which is a refreshing twist. Karma, payback, whatever you call it, it's great to see her dish it back. This relationship is a disaster on wheels, and we're grateful it's televised! TK and Rachel are frustrated and sniping at each other until they switch positions. With Rachel doing the grunt work, furniture was flying everywhere. Note to TK: she's good a tying knots. File that away for future reference.

Meanwhile, teams are lost in a sea of bikes over at that parking lot. Thousands of identical bikes are lined-up with only small color coded stickers on them for identification. Azaria and Hendekea finally find their bikes and pedal off, while Pat and Kate watch Ron freak out at Christina. Who knew finding bikes was so stressful? We're not even going to go for the obvious joke about lesbians on bikes. Nope.

Once the teams have completed the Detour, they must catch a bus to the rural village of Ransdorp and find some random field to get their next clue, which reveals a Roadblock. This time, it's the ancient art of Ditch Vaulting. It's like pole vaulting, but muddier. Contestants must use a large wooden pole to jump across a muck-filled ditch and land on their feet on the other side to collect their next clue.

Without hesitation, Jason grabs the pole and leaps right across the ditch, making it look easy, and putting himself and Lorena in first place. Jennifer makes it across after a couple of false starts, and Kynt makes a spectacular leap like some sort of fuchsia pixie, and sticks his landing like Mary Lou Retton.

Others aren't so lucky or fabulous. In the Things We Didn't Need to See department: Gramps strips down to his underwear--or is that a Speedo?--and makes several failed attempts to jump the ditch. We were just hoping he'll make it across, already! Stop showing us the semi-naked old dude!

Christina is dealing with her dad who won't shut his pie-hole. His nonstop yapping is enough to drive anyone insane. She makes several attempts to get across and finally makes it, probably just to get away from him.

Teams must now ride a bakfiet, a Dutch cargo bike, to Durgerdam Yacht Club, which is the Pit Stop for this leg of the race.

THE PIT STOP:
Lorena and Jason arrive first and win sport bikes. Nathan and Jennifer arrive in second place, and Shana and Jennifer take third place. Cruelly, in a nation known the world over for its dikes, Pat and Kate arrive last and are eliminated.

BEST QUOTE:
Marianna talking about Ron: "You've got to watch out for him. Mr. Miyagi runs like the wind."

NEXT WEEK:
Lorena is headed for a complete camel-related meltdown, and Christina tries to manage her father who is still yapping away like an angry Shih Tzu. See you here next week!

Related Stories:
· Amazing Race 12 Map [Jaunted]
· Amazing Race 12 coverage [Jaunted]