Did you happen to catch Saturday Night Live on Saturday night (of course)? Yea, we didn't either, but that's what Hulu is for. And this last episode is especially worth digging up online because it featured some pretty spot-on sketches, including a very sexy "commercial" for the the TSA's new enhanced airport security pat-downs.

In the short segment, which you can view above, the girls of SNL begin as if it's an ad for a phone sex line, but then Bill Hader, Keenan Thompson and Bobby Moynihan show up in airport security uniforms, and demonstrate that they're more than ready with their blue gloves and big wands to make you feel "a personal touch" next time you head through airport security. Here's our favorite lines: ]]> JetSetCD 2010-11-22T09:10:37-05:00 http://www.jaunted.com/story/2010/7/16/13339/9479

There are two parts to this story. The first broke at the beginning of the year, when TSA took Americans' legitimate privacy concerns over next-generation scanners and used them as a punchline. In a particularly tone deaf move, they launched a recruitment drive promising that "x-ray vision and federal benefits come standard" for their employees. Charming.

The second part, reported a few days ago, involves TSA's innovative new campaign for getting their obnoxious pitch to the widest possible audience. What they could have done is pull the slogan, perhaps nodding towards the watchdog groups who questioned whether a federal agency should be yucking it up over citizen discomfort. Instead they renewed their recruitment effort, slapping the phrase—no joke—on the back of DC-area pizza boxes. Welcome to the next generation of TSA employees.]]> Omri 2010-07-16T15:06:08-05:00 http://www.jaunted.com/story/2010/6/15/15185/7989

We've long since given up any hope that TSA will adjust their seemingly arbitrary and often moronic carry-on confiscation rules. You'd think that the knowledge that they're uselessly defending us tomorrow from yesterday's attack, coupled with the realization that scrutinizing lotion bottles is causing them to sometimes miss upwards of 90% of hidden weapons, would change their focus.

Instead they just announced that summer travel is going to be hell because they don't have enough staff to juggle all their new useless scanners and all of the bags that need to be hand-search for orange juice or whatever.

Which brings us to the experiment being run at Singapore's Terminal 1. SIN and the Singapore Post have launched a two-month pilot project to deliver potentially confiscated goods back to people's homes or ahead to their destinations. Dubbed Speedpost@Changi, the joint service is targeted at people who unknowingly try to carry valuable contraband items through checkpoints. ]]> Omri 2010-06-15T17:00:53-05:00 http://www.jaunted.com/story/2010/6/3/13551/03423

See that tripod gadget pictured above? If you oppose the use of Full-Body Scanners or just have privacy issues, better give it a wide berth next time you're at the airport because it's remotely strip-searching you.

Bradley International Airport in Hartford, CT is among the first to install and use this new scanner, called an SPO-7, which uses passive millimeter wave technology to "spot hidden objects on people as they move through the airport." Oh yea, and TSA officers are also able to capture images of people using it. And you won't know nor feel a thing as they do so. ]]> JetSetCD 2010-06-03T14:40:46-05:00 http://www.jaunted.com/story/2010/4/5/82714/12866

Full-body scanners have been on our radar for quite sometime, and we’ve tried to shed some light into what they do and what airports are using them. They’re supposed to keep us a little safer and to ensure airport security, but it seems that the scanners are doing a little law enforcement on the side as well.

Apparently the full-body scanners haven’t found any explosives yet, but they are finding all kinds of other good stuff—the stuff that requires local law enforcement to make a trip to the security lines. There have been passengers attempting to bring along a little bit of illegal in-flight entertainment, but the scanners have been preventing all sorts of drugs from making it on board. This concerns some people as drugs aren’t bombs, and the TSA might be infringing on some constitutional rights. ]]> kjb 2010-04-05T12:50:48-05:00 http://www.jaunted.com/story/2010/4/2/112225/9154

Flying into the US anytime soon? You'll be among the first to experience (or hopefully not experience) revamped security checks as President Obama has just signed new security protocols that take into account mistakes made on the day that the Christmas underwear bomber slipped through security.

For one, the new protocols do away with the mandatory full-body pat-downs and bag checks of travelers entering the United States from 14 specific terrorist-associated countries and replace them with a better filtered system for distinguishing who's closer to actually being a terrorist. According to The Age, the new system "will instead select passengers based on possible matches to intelligence information, including physical descriptions or a particular travel pattern."]]> JetSetCD 2010-04-02T11:40:16-05:00 http://www.jaunted.com/story/2010/3/15/10350/3789

According to the results of TripAdvisor second annual huge travel survey, around 79% of travelers are totally fine with Full-Body Scanning.

But with all of the news reports and even the Pope speaking out against them, it feels like there is greater resistance than that. Apparently the thought of having getting through security quickly and without a fuss trumps people's privacy issues, and also the idea of having a possible bomb-wielding terrorist onboard is enough to scare people into putting up with the full-body scanning machines. But this isn't the only surprising response that Tripadvisor found.

More statistics, after the jump]]> JetSetCD 2010-03-15T11:58:06-05:00 Search Jaunted string http://www.jaunted.com/search/