Catch up with Lauren, Audrina, Heidi and Whitney in MTV's "The Hills."
"If She Never Met Spencer..." how would we know where they were going? Good thing we put all down on the Hills Season 4 Map.
Previously: Justin and Spencer are still jerks. Audrina and Heidi are still in denial.
This week, Holly continued to work on her application for sainthood by acting as a go-between--or as Lauren put it, "trying to play matchmaker"--between her and Heidi. When Heidi protests that their friendship ended over "something I had nothing to do with" over lunch at Cuvee, Holly suggests she write LC a letter and explain herself.
Previously on "The Hills": Heidi went to Vegas for work, Audrina went to Justinbobby to solve her roommate drama and Spencer went nowhere fast!
At the end of the first season of "The Hills," LC faced a decision: Intern in Paris for the summer or live in a beach house with bad-behaving boyfriend Jason? We all know how that ended up, but apparently Heidi wasn't watching the show then despite being on it. Last night she faced the same choice: Get in good with her job by staying in Las Vegas with her bosses or head back to Los Angeles with Spencer after he ham-handedly came to fetch her?
She chose Spencer. God, Heidi, we were so proud of you last week, and you totally blew it. Spencer had the audacity to interrupt her during a business meeting at the Palazzo to whine, "We need to be together," after using his own sister Stephanie as a pawn to get details on where Heidi was working! Apparently, some girls go for that. Blech. Whatever.
Meanwhile, back at the Chatheau...
Previously on The Hills: Lauren can barely talk to Audrina now that she lives all the way over in the guesthouse; Heidi and Spencer fail to resolve anything.
Hey, is it Opposite Week on "The Hills"? Because things are just all mixed up! Lauren was a background player this week and Audrina was in the foreground? Lo was mean and Heidi was sensible? At least Spencer still acted like a jerk, reassuring us that it was just a temporary madness.
With her personal life a mess, Heidi goes to her boss and basically asks for him to give her as much as work as possible, "including travel and relocating." Please, Brent, send me away!
Stephanie Pratt attempts to dissuade her by saying, and we kid you not, "You [and Spencer] are perfect for each other." It doesn't work. She's off to Vegas to help Bolthouse open their Nevada extension of the club Hyde in the Sahara casino. Her boss's boss Sam Nazarian asks, "Is your boyfriend going to lose his mind when he finds out you're in Vegas?" Find out, after the jump!
Television Travel / TV Travel / The Hills / Hills-Travel-Map / Lauren Conrad / Heidi Montag / → All Tags
Previously, on "The Hills": LC and Heidi circled each other like sharks; JustinBobby returned and Lauren and Lo reluctantly decided to get a house with Audrina.
If "The Hills" were the soap opera it so badly wants to be, this would be the week that the original cast member returned to fireworks and high drama. Our returning champion is Stephen, whom fans of "Laguna Beach" will recognize as Lauren's best friend, then love interest, then... what? Well, he's alive! And he's still cute.
He's a guest at the housewarming party LC, Lo and Audrina throw for their new DELUXE digs. There's even a guest house, where Audrina lives and into which she has presumably been sneaking JustinBobby when the other girls are sleeping.
Someone who doesn't show? Stephanie, who makes a point of letting Heidi know beforehand that she's thinking of going, which leads to Heidi guilt-tripping her into staying in and watching a movie. Bummer, man! It's hard being She-Pratt.
Lo is delighted that Stephen's here: "That melts my little black heart!" Well, ours too. But what happens when the former golden couple of Laguna go to dinner? Find out after the jump.
Previously on "The Hills": Heidi and Spencer failed to break up while LC left the suede-y womb of Teen Vogue for a slap on the tush from Kelly Cutrone in fashion PR. (Oh, and surprise, she took the job right away!)
This screenshot from last night's episode of "The Hills" will certainly take its place in history alongside the photo of FDR and Stalin at Yalta. LC and Heidi sitting at the same table at a club... and not killing each other? Could such a summit happen in our time?
Don't fret, avid "Hills" viewers; since they technically didn't speak, there will still be time for a tearful reunion before the end of the season. After the jump, the explanation for this bizarre and off-putting scene.
Television Travel / The Hills / Hills-Travel-Map / Lauren Conrad / Spencer Pratt / Heidi Montag / → All Tags
Previously on "The Hills": Spencer wants Heidi back; Heidi wants Audrina back (as a friend); Audrina wants Lauren's trust back and Lauren wants a sandwich. (Well, probably.)
Heidi, Audrina and Stephanie have a girls' night out at S Bar--which is ruined when Stephanie lets it slip to Spencer and he shows up with his friend Kevin. Spencer goes to the bar and starts to hit on girls, and Heidi gets all steamed and loses her mind. Seriously, she looks at them and asks, "They're taking shots?" FOUR TIMES. Spencer's defense is that he "just wasn't trying to be rude," and besides Heidi goes to clubs all the time.
LC's commentary to Audrina about the night: Stay away from Heidi and Spencer! She should get that put on a T-shirt. (She also offered the titular wisdom about Spencer, suggesting he pays girls to hang out with him. There's a term for that, and it ain't legal in California.)
At work the next day, Heidi asks handmaiden Kimberly, "How can you love and hate someone so much at the same time?" She eventually calls Spencer and asks him to come over to Bolthouse because "We need to talk," but when he shows up he leads with "You made me be single!" and reveals that he interpreted "I need my space" as "We're on a relationship vacation." Now there's a term Dr. Phil needs to steal.
Previously on "The Hills": LC and Stephanie Pratt "accidentally" find themselves in the same class at school and bury the hatchet. Whitney starts her new job, and Heidi and Spencer resolve nothing in the ongoing saga of their non-somewhat-engagement.
It's Lauren's birthday! She throws a party at S-bar (3240 Wilshire Blvd.) and invites Stephanie Pratt even though everyone she knows told her it was a bad idea, so Audrina and Lo get all judgy. Lauren of course is too busy drinking delicious cocktails to mind the potential drama stewin'.
Heidi's coworker Kim spots Stephanie at the door and tattles to her, who reports it directly to Spencer. La Pratt asks Le Pratt, "Are we five?" Clearly the answer is yes, because they have to continue to hash it out.
And may we just say, Stephanie, dude!
The Hills / The Hills Travel / Hills-Travel-Map / Television Travel / Lauren Conrad / Heidi Montag / → All Tags
Previously on "The Hills": LC L'd Paris, Whitney got anxious, Spencer tried to make it right and Heidi looked a fright.
If this week's primo double episode had a theme, it was ch-ch-changes! The biggest one being that everyone's favorite drama-fraught couple is, well, still fraught with drama. Spencer moved out of the place he shared with former fiancee Heidi and in with his sister Stephanie, who is none too pleased with her brother's behavior.
A few quick exchanges showed that while Heidi thinks she and Spencer are going to rebuild their relationship from square one, Spencer is stoked about the possibility of bringing other ladies home to see his 42" TV. You say tomato, I say gonorrhea.
Heidi's back at work at Bolthouse (7966 Beverly Blvd.), the job she applied for in Season One so she wouldn't have to go to school.
OMG! "The Hills" is back, but barely in the Hills at all this week. In the first of eight episodes remaining in this season -- what MTV billed as the "season 3.5 premiere" -- LC and Whitney take Paris by storm, Heidi tries to heal her soul with some skiing, and Audrina holds down the fort off-camera. Boy, did we miss yelling at the screen that much.
Before the hiatus, LC and Whitney found out Teen Vogue editrix Lisa Love was sending them to Paris to cover the Bal de Crillon, one of the most famous debutante events in the world. (Famous debutantes at the Crillon Ball not in this episode: Phil Collins' daughter, Pele's goddaughter and RFK's granddaughter.)
When they get to Paris, LC and Whitney immediately pick up their ball dresses at Alberta Ferretti (418 Rue St Honoré) before they even hit their luxury accommodations at Le Grand Hotel (2 Rue Scribe). After a frantic early-morning trip to Colette (213 Rue St Honoré) to get shoes for the Teen Vogue photo shoot at the Hotel Crillon (10 Place Concorde), they go out on the town with some cute French boys who suggest drinking champagne underneath the Eiffel Tower.
Aww, c'est jolie! But not all is bubbly and roses: