Where you can find Jermaine and Bret. And maybe Murray.

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Where to Find NewZealandtown in New York...or Not

Where: 317 East Houston Street [map], New York, NY, United States, 10002
March 9, 2009 at 5:18 PM | by | ()

This week's episode opened with Bret and Jemaine playing a gig at the Bar and Grill on the Lower East Side at Houston and Attorney Streets. Yes, there is a street called Attorney Street here. And the actual establishment is called The Parkside Lounge which is located at 317 East Houston Street.

You can go here to watch variety acts or listen to Bluegrass music or attend a potluck dinner night. (Visit the MySpace page for more details. Or you could go to watch Bret and Jemaine play to a crowd of zero.

But really why would you want to do that when you can go visit NewZealandtown which is on the block between Little Italy and Chinatown, so says Prime Minister Brian. Actually locating NewZealandtown is quite difficult to do on a map and indeed it only takes up the space in front of a nail salon. Oh, and it was only up for one day.

But if you're really jonesing for some Kiwi action in NYC then we suggest hitting up the Kiwi Club of New York for some suggestions. Or you can just show up to their next Pub Night at the Galway Hooker on E. 36t street on Wednesday, March 11 at 7pm. Don't forget your hair gel. It makes you cool.

Related Stories:
· Parkside Lounge [Official Site]

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Jemaine is a Victim of 'Garfunkeling'

Where: 76 Clinton Street [map], New York, NY, United States, 10002
March 2, 2009 at 2:26 PM | by | ()

With such a jam-packed Flight of the Conchords episode full of New Zealand jokes, celebrity impersonators, real-life celebrities, a Judas Priest-tribute video, a Korean karaoke love song and FOTC stalker/fan Mel, it was almost hard to pick out what we loved most about this episode--until Jemaine revealed he was engaging in some unwanted "Garfunkeling." Here's how it went down.

The ever-resourceful Murray obtained a gig for Bret and Jemaine as Simon and Garfunkel lookalikes. While the gig may not have gone so well in Mel's eyes, Jemaine did manage to snag a date with Karen, played by 24's Mary Jane Rajskub. On their first date to Alias Restaurant on Clinton Street, Karen is disappointed that Jemaine was not in costume. Ever one to please the ladies, he goes home to change into his Garfunkel gear. Later, when it's time for sexytime Karen won't let Jemaine remove his costume. And so begins the start of their sexual relationship or as she calls it "Garfunkeling."

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Bret Invents a Vaccine for 'Pepileptic Dogs'; Wins The Girl

Where: 210 E 3rd St [map], New York, NY, United States, 10009
February 23, 2009 at 4:23 PM | by | ()

Women with missing epileptic dogs named Charlie you are in luck. Your knights in 80s animal t-shirts and denim blazers have arrived. Their name is Flight of the Conchords. You might be able to catch them at a Jazzercise class or at a benefit gig for "pepileptic dogs." If you're really lucky, they may fight over you at Cafe Cortadito in the East Village.

That's where Jemaine and Bret wooed the oddly-named Brahbrah (played by the very funny Kirsten Wiig), a woman with a (you guessed it) missing epileptic dog named Charlie.

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Jemaine Falls in Love With Another 'Race'

February 16, 2009 at 4:01 PM | by | ()

The smackdown between Australians and Kiwis continues this week on Flight of the Conchords when Jemaine has an abusive relationship with a Sheila. Ah, but where there is pain, there is gain. The episode produces two of the best songs this season--the type of songs that made us fall in love with Jemaine and Bret in the first place.

The first of which, "Too Many D--ks on the Dance Floor," takes place inside the fictional Score Spot disco on Greenpoint Avenue in Brooklyn. It's actually known as Club Exit in real life and according to NY Mag:

Polish club kids and greasy rockers cross unlikely paths on the zebra-printed dance floor of this over-the-top nightclub.

Hmm...we wonder if they filmed the interior scenes elsewhere as the Score Spot looked more "Saturday Night Fever" than "Eurotrip." Anyways, after creating "lady space" on the dance floor, Jemaine meets a girl named Keitha who he later finds out to be *gasp* an Australian.

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Mel Goes Crazy on Bret and Jemaine at Amerikick

Where: 529 5th Ave [map], Brooklyn, NY, United States, 11215
February 9, 2009 at 1:44 PM | by | ()

Be careful what you do to Mel in her dreams because she just might attack you at a Tae Kwon Do session.

While Bret and Jemaine acted like angels in Mel's first dream on Flight of the Conchords, they weren't as well behaved in her subsequent dreams. So when Murray brought Mel along to the Tae Kwon Do class to add a female element to his friendship exercises with Bret, Jemaine and his friend Dick Jim, she ended up exacting revenge for whatever B and J did in her dreams.

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'The Tough Brets' Keep Their Cool All Over Town

February 2, 2009 at 3:48 PM | by | ()

Last night's Flight of the Conchords episode starts off Bret dissing successful rappers in a gig that he and Jemaine do at a library. We're not sure which branch it was as there are several in Manhattan. But considering the Kiwis keep everything downtown, it's probably one of those branches.

Meanwhile, Murray tries to confront some Ozzies at one of their consulate parties for making fun of him and he takes it all the way to "top" which is the Australian ambassador played by Lost's Charles Widmore aka Alan Dale. Of course, he has no luck there and Bret gets insulted along the way for "winning" Miss New Zealand.

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Jemaine and Bret Mime Guitar at 169 Bar

Where: 169 East Broadway [map], New York, NY, United States, 10022
January 26, 2009 at 2:57 PM | by | ()

Last night's episode of Flight of the Conchords returned to its usual light and fluffy (dare we say sugary?) storyline centered around the poverty of Jemaine and Bret. When Bret's $2.79 spending spree (on a cup for tea time) puts the boys' bank account into overdraft, Brett is forced to sell his guitar. The guys attempt to earn money in various ways (giving Mel $30 massages, selling super straws, and eventually prostitution) but all to no avail. Jemaine is thus forced to sell his guitar too.

All this happens as the duo get gigs at the Lower East Side's 169 Bar at 169 East Broadway. The bar is real and real old, about 80 years. However, it was recently purchased by New Orleans resident and musician Charles Hanson in 2006 who has gone about turning the bar into a slice of Nola music heaven.

The bar is open from 4pm to 4am. Happy Hour is everday from 4:30 to 7pm. "$3 off well booze, $2 off of everything else." And of course, the bar features nightly live acts of "acoustic genres of the world, Latin, R&B, Soul & Jazz-Funk. " However, while Jemaine and Bret got away with mime-guitaring for a few nights, it only earned them zero stars in the New Zealand consulate's newsletter.

Related Stories:
· Flight of the Conchords Map [Jaunted]
· 169 Bar [Official Site]

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It's Not Just Jemaine and Bret Who Need The Kiwi Consulate's Address

Where: 232 East Broadway [map], New York, NY, United States
January 19, 2009 at 3:27 PM | by | ()

Kiwis visiting New York must make a mental note that the New Zealand Consulate shown in the Flight of the Conchords series is not the real location of the consulate.

According to Wikipedia, Murray's office inside the New Zealand Consulate (and site of many band meetings) is filmed at 232 East Broadway. However, the real consulate is in midtown at 222 East 41st Street. In fact, most of the show is filmed on the Lower East Side and in the outer boroughs. Remember, Jemaine and Bret dig their pastries and women at the Williamsburg bakery, Fabiane's Cafe & Pastry.

Now that you know that, excuse us. We need to go brush our teeth with some Femident.