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Take Your Greasy Vampire to Tahiti

It's an open secret that Air Tahiti Nui is a great way to reach Australia from the U.S., and especially from the East Coast, where at least one connection is required anyway. Their fares are often lower than Qantas', their planes are often less crowded, and they offer a free stopover in Tahiti. Plus, they won't mind if you go after a mile-high club membership with your "lover."

The above bizarre promotion is being run around a limited sale: fly non-stop to Papeete, Tahiti, from either Los Angeles or New York on a handful of dates. To qualify, you must present a valid credit card and shadowy male companion at the time of booking. Should your lover not appear shadowy enough, you can swap him for a substitute at the nearest Tahitian embassy or perhaps, in New York at least, at the Jekyll & Hyde Club.

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· A Secret A-fare [Air Tahiti Nui]